• worried about money - both having enough to last the year, and having enough cash to get done the stuff that needs to get done before leaving town (i.e. renting a u-haul, getting carpets cleaned, shipping boxes to myself in Lennoxville, paying final bills)
• worried about the logistics of travelling with the cat. Re-thinking whether I should just give her away permanently in Calgary to avoid putting her through the stress of travel and a new home, only to put her through it all again in less than a year. She's no spring-chicken, you know!
• going through what to bring and what to leave behind. And what to do with the stuff I'm leaving behind. Sell? or store? Thank goodness I don't have to deal with the hassle of renting some type of storage space. But I feel somewhat guilty that I'm putting my family out with stuff they either can't use or can use, but resent the indian-giving (is it p.c. to call it that?) that comes with the donation. I'm going to be asking for everything back when I come back. And the whole coming-back-penniless-and-homeless-but-with-my-degree is something I don't even want to contemplate at this point.
• I'm trying to get my probation-status resolved with the school, too. I need 32 credits, which means, ideally, I would take 16 each semester. But, because of my less-than-stellar academic performance as an 18-23-year-old, they are limiting my credits to 15 for the first semester. As dilly d pointed out, what do they care? It's my money I'm spending, so shouldn't I be able to decide whether to take on an extra credit...?
• Realized recently that I'm also going to have to toss any food I've got leftover. I'm going to be shipping enough stuff to myself (blankets, winter clothes, small appliances) that food is an unnecessary item to be bringing. My new apartment is pretty close to the grocery store anyway. More money to spend getting set up. Sheesh.

Here's the part where I put things into perspective. I know that this is the right decision and I honestly don't have second-thoughts about the going-and-getting-it-done part. Every single day I go to work I'm reminded of the type of job I'm going to be stuck doing if I don't do something to move forward. I had a good chat with Mark about it again today (it's a recurring theme in our discussions). He's kinda in a different spot, what with being a lawyer and all, so he has to deal with a different type of bullshit. I felt bad for him today.

It's at the point now where I don't have much respect for certain lawyers. A law firm is the worst place to work as an administrative person, too, because of the indentured-servant feeling of it all. I'm sick of being a babysitter. And I'm sick of being treated like a person who has less value simply because of my role within this company. Even if I have to start at the bottom all over again when I get back, I absolutely resolve to not take another job with no prospects for growth, challenge and real responsibility.

| ¶ 11:48 p.m.