I can still change my mind Last summer as I took steps to completely change the direction of my life, I was hesitant to commit, and reluctant to get my hopes up. Just in case. Plans could change. I could lose my commitment as easily as make it.

I applied for, and got, a student loan. I got re-accepted at Bishop's. I found a place to live in Lennoxville. I figured out what to do with my possessions. I figured out what to do with my cat. I bought a plane ticket. I gave notice at my apartment. I gave notice at my job. I packed my stuff and left town.

But even as each piece fell into place, I kept saying, I can stil change my mind. It was my exit strategy, in case things didn't work out the way they were supposed to. It was to prevent me from being disappointed if things didn't happen.

People have said to me a lot lately, "you're in the home stretch". And I see it, just like they do. Only I'm completely overwhelmed with the workload that I've failed to manage properly this semester. Three overdue papers. And despite only having four final exams, I also have two major papers due during the exam period for the other two classes. Five weeks to conquer this mountain. And I'm worried that I won't get my motivation back.

"Just sit down and get it done" doesn't work.

I can't change my mind anymore.  | ¶ 11:39 a.m.