dimanche, juillet 03, 2005
you give love a bad name
I know my blog is seriously lacking in quality content lately. I attribute that to a variety of factors, such as not having the use of my own computer, not having my own physical space to inspire sharing and creativity, and generally not feeling so wonderful about how my life has been going since I became a university graduate.
I have been lamenting aspects of this to some of you, so I won't belabour the points about how frustrating and disappointing it is to be back exactly where I was a year ago at this time, job-wise. And it's not that I hate the job exactly - securities law is fast-paced and hectic (not to mention fairly well-paid), so it can be pretty satisfying to work a long hard day and have made real progress on projects. On the other hand it can also be very stressful and non-satisfying when there isn't enough time to produce thorough, quality work. I'm rather disillusioned with this area being one that will ever give me long-term satisfaction.
My problem is that this path is one that is so familiar that I seem to not really know how to get myself pointed in another direction. My mother and step-father have been kind enough to give me a temporary home in their basement, but as a responsible adult, job security and reliable income in order to facilitate independent living (man, I sound like a special-needs person) are becoming more urgent. Not having somewhere to truly settle in and make my own is taking a toll on me. So in a way maybe I'm compromising what I see as my long-term career goals (i.e. not what I'm doing now) for the short-term relief of being able to pay my own rent.
I've been mulling making a big change like getting out of Calgary. I've debated taking a week sometime soon to visit Vancouver (do you have a guestroom, Kris?) and see if that city grabs me. I enjoyed it for the brief time froo and I passed through on the 30th-birthday-roadtrip-extravaganza last year. But I've also heard that the rainy season can be ultra-depressing. I do love the usually-sunny days of Calgary. Climate is not the deciding factor, of course. There are always reasons to maintain the status quo.
In discussions with various people recently I've been reminded, though, that (a) I don't need to be in Calgary to be a legal secretary, (b) opportunities don't come when you're just sitting around waiting for them - you gotta get moving, and (c) I'm not young anymore and need to make some good career decisions soon (okay, that last one was the un-solicited comment of the oh-so-brilliant Boss at my new firm --> not exactly inspiring advice).
It's not like I can just pack up and leave town, so I will be getting my own place here for a while until I get myself sorted out and can formulate a real plan. And then hopefully I'll start the baby steps towards some bigger changes. At the very minimum, this blog will get some tweaking. A new banner and new title (since I'm not in school and not having so many adventures these days), along with more frequent updates. Watch for it, people. It's gonna be big.
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¶ 12:57 a.m. 
I have been lamenting aspects of this to some of you, so I won't belabour the points about how frustrating and disappointing it is to be back exactly where I was a year ago at this time, job-wise. And it's not that I hate the job exactly - securities law is fast-paced and hectic (not to mention fairly well-paid), so it can be pretty satisfying to work a long hard day and have made real progress on projects. On the other hand it can also be very stressful and non-satisfying when there isn't enough time to produce thorough, quality work. I'm rather disillusioned with this area being one that will ever give me long-term satisfaction.
My problem is that this path is one that is so familiar that I seem to not really know how to get myself pointed in another direction. My mother and step-father have been kind enough to give me a temporary home in their basement, but as a responsible adult, job security and reliable income in order to facilitate independent living (man, I sound like a special-needs person) are becoming more urgent. Not having somewhere to truly settle in and make my own is taking a toll on me. So in a way maybe I'm compromising what I see as my long-term career goals (i.e. not what I'm doing now) for the short-term relief of being able to pay my own rent.
I've been mulling making a big change like getting out of Calgary. I've debated taking a week sometime soon to visit Vancouver (do you have a guestroom, Kris?) and see if that city grabs me. I enjoyed it for the brief time froo and I passed through on the 30th-birthday-roadtrip-extravaganza last year. But I've also heard that the rainy season can be ultra-depressing. I do love the usually-sunny days of Calgary. Climate is not the deciding factor, of course. There are always reasons to maintain the status quo.
In discussions with various people recently I've been reminded, though, that (a) I don't need to be in Calgary to be a legal secretary, (b) opportunities don't come when you're just sitting around waiting for them - you gotta get moving, and (c) I'm not young anymore and need to make some good career decisions soon (okay, that last one was the un-solicited comment of the oh-so-brilliant Boss at my new firm --> not exactly inspiring advice).
It's not like I can just pack up and leave town, so I will be getting my own place here for a while until I get myself sorted out and can formulate a real plan. And then hopefully I'll start the baby steps towards some bigger changes. At the very minimum, this blog will get some tweaking. A new banner and new title (since I'm not in school and not having so many adventures these days), along with more frequent updates. Watch for it, people. It's gonna be big.
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¶ 12:57 a.m.
