I walked into a honkey tonkey just the other day My friend Zouz recently moved in with a new roommate, who I'll call Robin. Now when Zouz and I first met Robin, we were pretty impressed with her ambition and focus. She is in her early 20s and works for one of the big oil companies in town. She makes kickass money and negotiated with her company for all sorts of perks, for instance flying the company "jet" to her adopted hometown (another oil town in Alberta) every two weeks. And such.

Robin is actually an East Coast girl like me. She's got the accent and she's very enthusiastic and chatty. And when I met her I assumed she was a little pudgy, but it turns out that she has treated herself to massive breast implants and these actually give the false image that she carries some extra weight. To each their own, eh.

As time has gone on Zouz has gotten to know Robin on a level that she finds rather trying. Robin used to have a fiance and seemed a bit settled. Well, now they've broken up and she's become quite the, umm, social butterfly, shall we say. She basically spends all her free time on dating sites advertising her double Gs to the menfolk out there. Zouz has a unique way of conveying the situation:

Zouz:
So, in her continuing quest to be thin, Robin succeeded in spending 350 in groceries so that she can start the Body for Life program. This, in addition to the diet pills and the fat eliminating injections. This is so that she can be thin for Stampede so that she can wear as little as humanly possible... and do I have to tell you how disappointed she is that she will be unable to flash her chest balloons for the general populus on the Red Mile?
Chief:
That girl is a piece of work, man.
Zouz:
UNREAL

  | ¶ 1:19 p.m.