I'm flying down that old dirt road, but it seems these wheels are spinning slow I read a really interesting article recently on Alternet about manhood (Growing Up to Be Boys).

This shift in the dominant image of manhood is most evident in the evolution of the so-called "Family Man." The benevolent patriarch of the '50s has been replaced by an adult teenager who spends his time sneaking off to hang out with the boys, eyeing the hot chick over his wife's shoulder, or buying cool new toys. Like a fourteen-year-old, this guy can't be trusted with the simplest of domestic tasks, be it cooking dinner for the kids or shopping for groceries.

I think it's interesting to watch the evolution in the traditional roles of men and women. It almost seems that women have had the women's movement fighting for them long enough that we women feel part of the "fight", and know that we don't have to settle. Modern-day men, on the other hand, have not had to fight for their dominance in society (at least over women), and so there really isn't a lot of championing of a positive "men's movement". Sometimes I think some men are losing their identity and sense of what it means to be a man. Not that there should be a one-size-fits-all definition of manhood. But this phenomenon mentioned in the article noted above seems rather like regression.

Where traditional masculinity embraced marriage, children and work as rites of passage into manhood, the 21st century version shuns them as emasculating, with the wife cast in the role of the castrating mother. The result resembles a childlike fantasy of manhood that is endowed with the perks of adulthood - money, sex, freedom - but none of its responsibilities.

We internalize a lot from the role models in our lives during our formative years. My dad was not the macho-man type, but really took on the role of provider and domestic master. He cooked, he cleaned up, he shopped, he chauffeured. However, he did also fill the more traditional masculine roles - he built our backyard pool and deck, he tuned his bike, he changed tires, he coached sports. It's a tall order for the men in my life to meet the expectation that I have developed as a result of this upbringing.

Last summer I read a novel called The Time Traveler's Wife and I enjoyed it so much that I was barely able to put it down, and immediately commenced re-reading from the start when I finished it. It's a compelling story about the lives of a man and a woman, but the love story between the two and the near inevitability of certain aspects of their merged existence is what intrigued me the most. As Henry jumps around in time, he learns that trying to affect the past or the future is futile, so he tries to let things run their natural course, as tempting as it is for him to interfere.

I like that idea, that fighting to control your destiny isn't really what your energy should be focussed on. Every adventure, every disappointment, every poignant moment will teach a lesson and fade away, only to be succeeded by more adventures, disappointments and poignant moments. All you can do is the best you know how to do in the moment that you find yourself in, try not to chide yourself too much for the mistakes you make, and accept that a more mature version of yourself will do better, the next time you are presented with a similar situation.

Henry is a runner. When he time travels, sometimes running saves his life, so he's religious about getting up and doing his run every morning, no matter what the weather.

My father was a runner during my childhood. My brother Keri is a runner too. It's interesting to observe my brother as a role model to his children. There are days when I almost flash back to my own childhood, because Keri is so like my father in many of his lifestyle habits that he almost duplicates moments our own upbringing. I've seen Keri get back from a run and do his cooldown stretching on the floor of the livingroom, with Caia and Ella clambering into his lap and climbing on his back. This so closely resembles some of my own memories of our dad - the man who would run no matter what the weather or the season - that it's almost eerie. It's nice to see him setting that example for the next generation of Ryan children.

In The Time Traveller's Wife Henry tries to explains to the doctor he visits for help with his "problem" why he chose him:

"Why did you come to me?"

"Because I had come to you. It wasn't a matter of choice."

"Fate?"

"Call it whatever you want. Things get kind of circular, when you're me. Cause and effect get muddled."

Happy Father's Day to the Ryan men, who continue to live their lives in a way that their children can respect and want to emulate.  | ¶ 12:23 a.m.