it just reminds us of the cost, oh of everything we've lost I read a blog post the other day that has me thinking a little bit. Tad wrote about "peaking early" in life.

I have a friend who says she peaked in middle school. She was popular, a basketball star and a star pupil. Now, she's a well-adjusted, successful adult, but she doesn't feel like a star anything.

I started to think about the various "peaks" in my life. I guess if I had to select a couple moments, or years, that were memorable for one reason or another (in a good way, of course), I would maybe also select a teenage year (as much as I don't look back on those years with much nostalgia) - my final year of high school. I was the point guard on the Moncton High School basketball team, shoooting really well (I was the 3-point shooter, don't you know), and feeling as strong and healthy as I'd ever felt at that stage of my life as I remember.

The next time I might select is one of my first years in Calgary, in 1997-98. I'd dropped out of Bishop's and was living with Mom & Dalt, which didn't start out so well. But I managed to find myself a good job with a start-up company, and it turned out to be a very exciting time. I started managing the company's stock option program, did some challenging work learning about securities filings and public company financings, working with a boss that I really clicked with... Back then I didn't truly appreciate how good I had things, but when I look back, I see myself living the life, making new friends, enjoying my own office, earning the respect of co-workers and family (so I thought, anyway).

Since then I haven't enjoyed quite that level of satisfaction, feeling like I was contributing terribly much to the world. Except in 2004, when I decided to go back to Bishop's and finish what I'd started - words can't really describe the level of exhiliration I felt working only for myself again. I really knew what I was there for this time, having earned a new perspective only through living "real life", those challenging transition years in the 20s...

I have to admit that embarking on this new journey doesn't feel the same to me. I have a lot of the same doubts, I suppose. Why am I doing it, and where is going to get me, and why do I have to cross the country to tackle the challenge yet again...? I don't know, you know. I can't answer it even for myself, let alone the people who ask... I guess I just trust that moving "forward" from a place that feels so far from my "peak" can only lead to new challenges, new accomplishments, and new life lessons. I hope that it means satisfaction and success.  | ¶ 12:58 a.m.