won't you wrap the night around me Okay, so I made a big change - new template! I've got it mostly where I want it to be, but I still have some tweaking to do. I couldn't seem to get my comments re-located, but since most of you don't comment, I think you'll survive without them for now. I think I like the white background, or "whitesmoke" to be precise. Email me if you want and tell me what you think.  | ¶ 11:00 p.m.

  funny how in dreams your feet never touch the earth One of our directors (not the one who keeps calling me "Ryan") is travelling and we need him to call in to a teleconference this week (to approve the company's financial statements). His last email made me smile:

One last time check, it is approximately 9:00 am on Wednesday 1 February in Australia as I write this email. You should receive it at 3:00 pm on your Tuesday 31 January. I think that means that 8:30 am on Thursday 2 February Calgary time is 2:30 am on Friday 3 February Australia time. I have done this calculation 100 times in my head as I travel in the blazing Australian sun. I need someone that is a little more rational to verify my arithmetic.

The blazing Australian sun - that sounds heavenly...! This brings us to my next escape fantasy. I really should do some travelling (a bit of a recurring theme, I know). My passport is going to be renewed this month (yay, we made it through January). I think I'll sell off my furniture, store a few essentials, find a temporary home for Salsa, and pack my backpack. It's not too soon to be planning to backpack around Europe for the summer, I don't think. Look, I've even got new travelling boots.
  | ¶ 5:43 p.m.

  take me up in your hot air balloon and feed me cotton candy
We all gathered at the compound yesterday for Ella's third birthday celebration. I think the whole thing was a bit overwhelming for her - three aunts, two uncles, two cousins, two siblings, two parents, two grandparents, one special guest (heheh, that's Devin). We had quite the feast of pizza, chicken wings and cake.I think Miss Ella enjoyed herself, and cleaned up on the Dora gifts (the child is obsessed with all things Dora). I'll post some video clips later, but for now, you can see the pictures here. Notice the Dora underpants in the slideshow. Dora everything, people!  | ¶ 11:24 a.m.

  this growin' up stuff, man, I don't know It's Ella's birthday! Guess how old this girl is.
  | ¶ 8:35 p.m.

  straight through the fire into the unknown I think this is a cool map. It's not often you picture our world from this perspective.

I found this on the BBC site, where they discussed the comments from Prime Minister-designate Stephen Harper (!) regarding his intentions to protect Canadian land / water claims in the North. Tough talk from the new guy. I have to admit, I kinda like it.  | ¶ 6:08 p.m.

  everyone's taking everything thing they can We just had a meeting with representatives from our HR department to review changes to the employee orientation program. They invited me because I'm a relatively new employee, and they know somebody dropped the ball on my orientation. They wanted my feedback, if I had any to offer. I learned something really interesting in this meeting. Apparently it's an established fact that companies "lose" an employee (mentally) within the first thirty days. I can vouch for that.
  | ¶ 11:33 a.m.

  tell me, what's it all for if you're not terrified to fail I'm a hypocrite, I must confess. A couple months ago when the Alberta government announced that they would be distributing "prosperity cheques" in the amount of four hundred dollars to all Albertans, I declared that I absolutely did not want the cheque, and that I would be donating my portion to a charity of some kind. Alas, it's January and the cheque has arrived, and I find myself in "need" of a little cash. I've made things a little tight for myself lately in an attempt to gain some ground on the student loan debt and I was going to be pinching my pennies a bit next week. Ralph's handout has saved me some of the stress. Am I a terrible person for keeping the money?

Seriously, though, those of you who don't live in Alberta probably aren't seeing the advertising bonanza going on out here these days. At the Brick (furniture store), they're offering to double your money if you spend it there. There are a few of these gimmicks going on around town. I think this weekend might be a very successful one for the bars and restaurants of Calgary.  | ¶ 10:39 p.m.

  but that's the risk that you take I'm not sure if I would have been as honest as these people. That's a lot of money to tempt you...!

The owners of a home in Trois-Rivières, Que., have handed $100,000 over to police after finding the stacks of bills in the ceiling of their bathroom while renovating.

The home where the money was found had belonged to members of the Hells Angels biker gang or people linked to the group since 1994, Crown attorney Charles Levasseur said Wednesday.

Police executed a search warrant on the home in 2004, but didn't find any cash.

Here's the story.  | ¶ 2:31 p.m.

  nobody knows the secrets that we keep Tonight I experienced a bit of déjà-vu with a visit with Stacey, my ex-boss. I picked her up at her office before heading off to Dakota's for some cocktails. For those who haven't been paying attention, Stacey was the young, cool lawyer I worked for at the law firm I left to come to my current job.

We were joined by Stacey's friend Christy, another young and fun lady and J, another lawyer from my old firm. When hearing from me how my new job was going, all three of my companions tonight said, well, then you've got lots of time to blog, then, right...? And to each I responded, well, no, because I'm so bummed out these days I don't really want to whine about it.

I'm sure Stacey doesn't really want to hear about how I regret leaving working with her to be miserable at the new shop. Sometimes I do think I should have stayed put. But we talked about it tonight a bit, that balance between ultimate stress and ultimate boredom - how do you choose...? Last summer I felt like I didn't really get a chance to enjoy my summer because of the demands of my job (that, and I was living in my mom's basement, too - not conducive to a lot of personal satisfaction, no offense, Mom). Since joining the new company, I feel like I have the most boring life in the world (except for the infrequent fun roadtrip with Devin). There seriously must be a middle ground for me.

If I can just get through January...  | ¶ 10:19 p.m.

  you just might wave hello again Since I've got the January blahs (maybe you do too), here are some funnies to make us giggle:

"Osama bin Laden released his first new audiotaped message in over a year. While there is some new material in the message, insiders say it's mostly a Greatest Threats collection. A White House spokesman says they plan to check out the message in its entirety, but they're too busy listening to your phone calls." - Tina Fey

"According to a study at the University of Colorado, researchers say morning grogginess can give you a feeling of being legally drunk and unable to think straight. They say this condition can last anywhere from a few minutes in some people to as long as two entire terms in office." - Jay Leno

  | ¶ 12:04 p.m.

  Second best is never enough When I voted this morning, I counted eight candidates running in my riding. Eight! But don't worry - I wasn't even tempted to vote for the Marxist-Leninist candidate. My vote went to John.

Have YOU voted?  | ¶ 11:21 a.m.

  the memory of all that I'm tweaking and experimenting with the blog today. Check out this pop-up video from this morning's babysitting. Fun.

Jump Ella Jump  | ¶ 10:48 p.m.

  whatever the sweetest wine that I taste
I'm babysitting this morning. Keri and Gina went out for a rare breakfast alone, so it's me and the critters here this morning. To tell the truth, morning babysitting is pretty easy. You lie down on the couch with the girls and watch kids shows (or drift off to sleep a bit - shh!). Then you kinda gradually wake up with demands to read books and kids who need food. Now I gotta go make a grilled cheese for Ella. It's sort of against the rules (processed cheese for breakfast!), but I'm not a huge rule-enforcer when I'm here. That's what babysitters are for, right..?  | ¶ 12:22 p.m.

  remember when we held our heads so high Devin and I just watched a terribly cute movie - 50 First Dates. Surprisingly fun and heartwarming.

I went for a serious massage tonight. I'm having a hard time convincing Devin that getting a massage is actually a tiring experience. Sure, you're lying there getting some much-needed muscle relief, but when you're me and have lots of "scar tissue" that needs to be worked through, the workover is pretty intense and it does drain you. Remind me to tell you why I have all that scarring another day. It involves a high school boy.

The evening ended with a short glimpse of future-Prime Minister Harper on the National with Peter Mansbridge. Like I told Devin, I guess we're just going to have to get used to that smile.  | ¶ 1:09 a.m.

  I'm in a world so wide, it makes me feel small sometimes Actor Shatner sells kidney stone

I don't know about anyone else, but that totally grosses me out. I haven't read the story, because I just don't want to know. Next thing you know, various body fluids (or body parts?!) will be fair game. Wanna buy my spleen? Wanna buy my liposuctioned fat? Ew, ew, eww.  | ¶ 4:34 p.m.

  some pages turned, some bridges burned Last night Mark and I went for beers at the James Joyce Pub. It's on 8th Avenue downtown, but don't worry, not the end with the gun crime. I shouldn't joke about it, because some nice man who worked at a mortgage company was murdered yesterday morning for turning someone down. It's just a bit of a shock to hear about this kind of gun violence within the white collar nine-to-five community. What kind of person decides that shooting the bearer of bad news is a reasonable response to that news...? It's sad.


My iPod died today. I was already tired and bored at work, but not having music and podcasts to entertain me was really quite annoying. Just when I was really beginning to count on my podcast entertainment... The commute seemed a lot longer today. I gotta figure out where you get these things fixed. GRR.

My job still sucks. At least I didn't have a near-death experience like my friend Art today. He's down in Arizona doing some skydiving.

Art says: Hi there
Art says: I just had a pretty scary malfunction and felt the need to say hello to all my friends.
Stacey says: eep!
Stacey says: but you're okay?
Art says: Yes I am ok, I just wanted to say hi, in case I don't make it on one of these jumps... I am heading back up in a few minutes to "get back on the horse"
Stacey says: be careful!
Art says: I will try
Art says: Bye for now
.................
Art says: I survived!
Stacey says: oh good!
Stacey says: were you extra-scared?
Art says: yeah for sure !
Art says: But now I am all better
Art says: ha ha ha
Stacey says: good, good

I was, like, virtual skydiving today, practically...  | ¶ 10:16 p.m.

  all it took to seal the future Two bits:

• I really don't get all the fuss about James Frey's mis-representations in his autobiographical novel (see "The Man who Conned Oprah" on the Smoking Gun website). It was a GOOD BOOK, and who cares if some of it wasn't 100% factual...? People have really got some odd priorities these days, in them there United States. What about that other dude named George W. Bush who's been lying about things with much more serious consequences...? James Frey is getting more roasting than he deserves (another editorial bashing in the New York Time today). Sheesh.

• On CBC Radio's Metro Morning show the other day, the topic was "Presumed Consent" in relation to organ donation. I think this is just good sense. Unless somebody has taken steps before dying to record their opposition to being an organ donor, we should assume that their organs are now ready for their life-saving role in a deserving candidate. They interviewed Peter Kormos, a provincial representative of the NDP (yay, that's my party) who has in the past introduced a bill pushing for this new legislation. At the time, it was decided that the Canadian public was not ready for this progressive idea. What? I don't get it. I hope he has better luck this time around; he's preparing to bring it forward again.

  | ¶ 5:50 p.m.

  you can't go away just to come back the same
It may appear that I am kissing a dog in this picture, but in reality I was just attempting to avoid the very affectionate dog kisses of Pammy and Tone-L's dog Murphy. He's a quick little bugger. Devin had the same problem, see?

To end the week yesterday I turned back into a more sociable being. First I met up with Persuade down at La Tavola in the Penny Lane Mall for a couple glasses of wine. Then Devin joined us. He and I hit Club McDo for a snack before bussing over to P & T's place. We watched some TV, played Trivial Pursuit 90s edition (yay, I won), drank wine, then crashed in their guest quarters. See evening pics here.


Today was a nice lazy day.  | ¶ 1:51 a.m.

  whether you're right, whether you're wrong You know how there's always buzz words in the business community? Here are some trends I'm noticing lately:

"Drill down". This has been slightly over-used in some of the election coverage I've seen on Global National. Not sure how widespread the usage is other than that, but I hear it now and then. DRILL DOWN!

"Media release" appears to be replacing "press release". I know these things because I edit a lot of documents where we discuss disclosure of material events or financial statements. We are transitioning over to media release, people. Make a note.

In catch-up news, you can click the photo below for the complete slideshow from our evening at "Zoolights" over the holidays. The Calgary Zoo decorates the place up in crazy luminescence in an effort to make money over the winter months. It's pretty well done. The pictures don't really do it justice - I'm still becoming familiar with the settings available on my camera, so I experiment, with varying results, as you'll see.

  | ¶ 4:45 p.m.

  you better make sure I'm gone before you make your mistake Podcast update:

My new thing is to update the podcasts on my iPod at night and then during my commute to work, listen to some of the programs I've downloaded. And I've discovered some good stuff lately. The one I'm enjoying quite a bit for its educational aspect is Open Source with Christopher Lydon. It's a talk radio show out of Boston. Wow, does he have some good topics and great guests. I'm, like, so educated now about stuff like the political future of Israel without Ariel Sharon and the trending in South America towards socialist governments. He's got quite a comprehensive website with these programs available for download if you're so inclined. Highly recommended for his international focus.

Another I've been listening to is Metro Morning with Andy Barrie from CBC Radio One in Toronto. The segments they make available as podcasts are fairly short, but usually very current. For instance, yesterday's show was a follow-up after the leaders' debate Monday evening - they were asking callers whether they'd changed their minds and what resonated with them about the messages they heard. Very interesting. The other day he had a guest discussing the problem of gun violence in Toronto. She was incredibly knowledgeable about the situation and I found it very educational. Good Canadian content.

I'm still listening to NPR's story of the day - those are quirky and thought-provoking. Today's was a piece on the painter Cezanne, since it is the 150th anniversary of his birth soon and his town in France is getting ready to celebrate.

I've also been trying out Mother Jones radio from Air America. It seems pretty good, but maybe a little too American-focussed for me. I do follow American politics pretty closely, but I'm not sure how many other domestic issues I need to concern myself with. I'll keep listening and report back.

[/podcast report]  | ¶ 9:07 p.m.

  I got magic in my shoes as well The other day I was reading the latest edition of Women's Health magazine. I was surprised to read that a study done in Canada found that women do not exercise as efficiently when they can see their reflections in a mirror. Are people easily discouraged? They're in such bad shape that it depresses instead of motivates them...? I'm totally the opposite, I must admit. Maybe it's a vanity thing, but I like to be able to see myself when I exercise. I'm usually able to convince myself that I'm looking fitter after just one workout. But lately it's my perceived fatness that is motivating me. December's fight-the-boredom drinking campaign followed by holiday indulgence has resulted in me not feeling so slim. Not for long, I say. Fight the fat this month...!  | ¶ 5:37 p.m.

  I've been wondering if there's something I can do for you

Two steps taken yesterday in operation-scare-myself-back-to-life:

1 - I applied! Yes, I filled out my application on the "Ontario Universities Application Centre", where they charged me a service fee of $105, and a fee specifically for Carleton for $53. Ouch. I just gotta send them my Bishop's transcript now. It's actually a little early to be applying, but hey, I need to feel like I'm moving forward...

As I was submitting the application, I said to Devin, wouldn't it be funny if I got rejected...? Okay, it wouldn't be funny, exactly, but I'm a big believer in anticipating obstacles. The early application means that I can make a new plan in case they don't want me. Having exit strategies is always a good idea. I can still change my mind... (you'll be hearing that a lot from me).

2 - Even though I'm resigned to staying put in my job if necessary, I thought it couldn't hurt to suggest to one of my agencies that I'd be open to a contract position at a law firm, if something comes up. Dropping crumbs...

  | ¶ 11:44 a.m.

  like falling when you try to fly
Stephen seems nervous tonight. I think he's a choker - can't close when he knows he's ahead.  | ¶ 8:41 p.m.

  the moon and the sun were floating side by side I haven't had a lot to say lately because I get sick of my own whining, and being back at work this past week reminded me that I seriously need an escape plan.

Step one: apply to school

This week I've been keeping myself distracted with the previously mentioned interview at an employment agency, and taking advantage of my company's generous benefit plan with visits to the chiropractor and masseuse. I'm also shopping for new glasses. Hell, I deserve some pampering.

Step two: Stick it out at the job and commence the countdown to September

Devin and I have started trying out new restaurants (usually timed to coincide with payday). Thursday we went to a nice Latin American restaurant called the Blue House Cafe. I had lamp chops, which were very tasty. Then we went to see Brokeback Mountain, which was a very good movie (filmed here in Alberta!).

Step three: Stay distracted with exercise and entertainment

Other movies we've watched lately (catching up on movies with my new DVD player) are the 40-year-old Virgin and Wedding Crashers. I'm making a point of watching comedies to keep myself laughing. It works.

Step four: Get good at my job. It has potential.

I made an eight-hundred-and-fifty dollar payment on my student loan the other day. It feels good to chip away at that. I'm focussing on getting this piece paid off before I apply for the next loan. Eep.

Step five: Try not to be afraid of making a decision and doing something new.  | ¶ 10:44 p.m.

  silence on the line between us sounds so very wrong Music blog: mlog

I mentioned them the other day, but I've been listening and re-listening to one song in particular and a few others that I've downloaded and I have to recommend the Canadian Band Two Hours Traffic to you. It's this song, Better Sorry Than Safe [2.7 MB], that I'm finding quite addictive.

From their bio page:

From the unlikely city of Charlottetown, PEI comes one of Canada's best young bands. Two Hours Traffic are four chemistry students who have made the record that will make you excited about rock music again. Marrying edgy performances with killer melodies and meaningful, poetic lyrics their self-titled debut is band alchemy of the highest order.

Chemistry students! From Charlottetown! Try them out (I put the song at that link above, if you didn't notice).

Maybe I am starting to understand the power of the podcast. This band, and a couple others I'll mention another time were discovered on the previously mentioned CBC Radio 3 podcast featuring the DJ's favourite 14 Canadian songs of the year. You can see their master list of top 94 songs on the website.
Suddenly the internet is becoming interesting again...  | ¶ 11:31 p.m.

  better sorry than safe People, I need some advice. I have to take some steps to make a change, and I'm not sure what to do. I hate feeling trapped, and that is how I've been feeling in this job. Trapped, bored and frustrated. But with the start of a new year there comes a little bit of hope and a sense of seeing the finish line in this particular leg of the "race". Because maybe, perhaps this is a year in which I could conceivably go back to school yet again come September. So maybe I would be able to tolerate the non-busy-ness and non-challenge and long commute for just a few more months (okay, eight months).

There ARE jobs out there. I went out to meet with yet another agency today that specializes in legal placements. The area that I've typically worked in (securities) is a very hot area in Calgary right now. The salaries they're posting for securities legal assistants are way higher than I've seen even pretty recently, so even though I thought the money in my current job was unusual, I may not have to contemplate such a major pay cut. And these are positions at very respectable law firms. DOWNTOWN. The woman I met with today told me that if I decide to proceed, things would happen fast.

The reason I'm debating a job change is because I'm bored most of the time in my current job. When I'm not bored, I'm frustrated (and then angry), because when something REAL comes up, I still don't know how to do it, because I had no training and have basically no resources. My boss is nice (a very nice, gentle man), but we have little rapport established, and I find I can't really go to him for help on most things anyway. I've tried that and he has very few answers for me. What I want in a job are some clear expectations set out, some clear feedback scheduled, and definite training and resources available. This company has provided none of these.

Would returning to a law firm be a good idea? The reason I left the last one was because it was super-stressful; who's to say that I wouldn't be diving straight back into that? Would changing to ANY other job at this point make sense given that the tentative plan is to leave it at the end of August...? What if my school plans get put on hold and I don't leave in September?

Does anybody have something to say on this matter?  | ¶ 4:11 p.m.

  it's an emergency (okay, not really) Kris, are the postal workers delivering mail today? The people need to know.  | ¶ 3:17 p.m.

  I see the way out and I'm gonna take it 2005 RECAP

Hmm... some of the highlights for me:

• Travelling to Prague with Pammy;
• Meeting new friends at Bishop's;
• Graduating from university;
• Whitewater rafting on the Kicking Horse River;
• Mom's birthday bash;
• Autumn roadtrips with Devin.

I welcomed in the New Year over at the family compound where we all enjoyed a Bailey's toast at midnight. The highlight of coming back to Calgary after being away last year has been spending time with family, so it was fitting to end 2005 together.  | ¶ 1:23 a.m.

  hello, 2006 h a p p y n e w y e a r

And we're off...  | ¶ 3:14 a.m.