I'm missing the Amazing Race for this? There's a whole lot of stress in Stacey-land right now. I'm not liking it one bit. I think it might be time to pull the plug on the computer and just tackle the whole project head-on. By tomorrow at 6 PM I don't want to have any more to deal with. Just a haircut with the lovely Guitana, then a few cocktails at good old BU (that's Bottoms Up, not Bishop's University, although we'll reverse that trend soon enough). Tone-L, the sweetheart, has reserved us a table.

Ready.
Set.
Pack.  | ¶ 10:44 p.m.

  more good news They're letting me take 16 credits this semester. Guess I know where that extra loan money is going now.

And. I'm sitting on a table. All my chairs are gone. Keri and I did the bulk of the moving this afternoon. All that's left is my computer, desk, some lamps and a coffee table.  | ¶ 6:01 p.m.

  the new packing strategy (I'm not having such an easy time getting this done.)

I was telling A-list yesterday that I have visions of dumping drawers of my stuff out on the floor when it comes time to move the furniture (that's tonight). And now I've managed to convince myself that maybe that wouldn't be so bad. I have done a certain amount of preparation, in that my junk is pared down somewhat. Having the remainder spread out in front of me might just be a reasonable way to get through it all.

Mom's coming this afternoon to help pack my dishes, since I didn't quite get to that yesterday. Yesterday I vacuum-sealed one bag of sweaters. I sorted CDs. I felt the urge to go biking, and I wanted to watch TV. I've learned that the laws of packing mean that as soon as something is not available for use, you tend to want to use it. I'm resisting packing both the stereo and the computer for this reason.

But today it will get done. The bulk of the packing. Most of the moving. The counting of boxes and suitcases, and the strategizing on getting it all to Lennoxville in the most efficient way possible (quickly, but not necessarily cheaply).  | ¶ 12:04 p.m.

  oops I forgot about something. I have a hair appointment Wednesday evening. So I can't be at Bottoms Up until 7:30 or 8:00. I guess it's a good thing nobody's given me a firm positive on my invite!  | ¶ 7:54 p.m.

  WOOT! They gave me more money! They gave me MORE MONEY!

[insert big sigh here]

I wasn't all that optimistic about being granted more loan money, but I appealed it anyway. What the heck, eh? And they've seen fit to give me more. Phew! Every little bit helps! Maybe I can come home for Christmas, now! Okay, I'm planning to come back regardless, but now maybe I won't be so dependent on Stacey's-charity-fund for the trip.

Yay!   | ¶ 7:07 p.m.

  progress report My TV's gone! I took a load of stuff over to Keri's today. Figured I could survive TV-less for the next few days. When I was over there, Mom gave me these special large-size-ziploc-type bags designed for packing and storing, that are equipped with a nozzle-thing where you use a vacuum to suck out the air and minimize the size of your stuff. We tried putting three pillows in one and sucked out the air and it was kinda cool to watch - it became quite tiny! Nifty little device.

Today I made some calls. I've now got an account with Hydro Quebec. I've now got a phone number at my new place (you'll have to get that from me). I've paid the pet fee with WestJet ($40). I probably haven't made as much progress as I should have by this point. I'm planning to tackle the packing-of-dishes next.

This upheaval is challenging in that every step of the process involves deciding whether I'm bringing, storing or getting rid of a particular item. How many pairs of shoes? How many bottles of nail polish (my one cosmetic indulgence)? How many dishes? How many blankets? Ship? or pay extra to bring more on the plane? Will I need bug spray? My bathing suit? How many CDs?

My other decision involves getting together with people for drink / lunch before I go. I'm feeling a little too disorganized to start scheduling these things, so I'm thinking of doing this: Wednesday is my designated party night. I'm going to be at Bottoms Up waiting for Pammy to get off work (she bartends there part-time), so any of you that would like to meet me for an after-work drink around 5:00 or 5:30, could you come there...? The address is 3220 17th Ave S.W. (Killarney area). I will be there for at least a few hours. Also, it's a sports pub, so for those interested in watching world cup hockey, it's an excellent place for that (I think Canada's playing Slovakia at 5:00?). We watched most of the NHL playoffs there - great fun. Let me know if you might be up for it, k?  | ¶ 4:25 p.m.

  i have made a decision, and it is this: This is the day NOT TO PACK.

I'm just too stressed and out-of-sorts about the whole thing. Yesterday I disconnected and took away my scanner, and wouldn't you know it, today I need to scan something (the need to scan mysteriously arises when you suddenly don't have a scanner with which to scan).

Christa Campbell called today. And I answered! My old roommate/friend from university and I have been playing phone tag for literally months. We were a little thrown off at first to actually be speaking LIVE. And she shares with me that she got engaged recently. WOOT! She and Jay have been together forEVER, so it's not shocking, but it's still big news. I wanted to scan in a pic of us back in the day for posting here, but alas, I am scanner-less.

So I've decided that Tuesday I shall move. And tomorrow I shall organize and pack.

Today. Today I will enjoy the little comforts of my life for just one more day. My computer. My stereo. My television. ALL of my dishes.

And Tuesday I will sleep on the floor wrapped in a blanket, snuggled up with Salsa, in my then-empty apartment. My bed will be gone. My desk will be gone. My computer will be packed. My stereo will be stored in Keri's dark basement. My dishes will be in the mail on their way to L'ville.

Wednesday is the-night-of-the-last-hurrah for Tone-L, Pammy and me (and whoever else decides they want to participate on what will be a school night for people-who-still-have-jobs-and-aren't-homeless-penniless-students). (By the way, I will be looking smashing that night since I will be indulging in my final salon-haircut before becoming one-of-those-people-who-doesn't-have-a-job.)

Thursday is the last supper with the family. Mashed potatoes and whatever. Because I get to pick the meal. And mashed potatoes are really all that matters.

Friday morning we fly. With the cat. And then we drive 2 hours. With the cat. And then we sleep in my no-bedroom-and-bedless apartment. Me. dilly d. And the cat.  | ¶ 3:13 p.m.

  ready set pack Okay. I'm done working. Time to get packing...

Only.

I have NO IDEA where to start.
  | ¶ 7:59 p.m.

  1 (dying for chocolate) Today was my second free lunch. Floyd had asked earlier in the week when I was available, so we arranged to go out today, with Pete too. But noon rolls around and he finds himself stuck in a meeting, so Pete and I went without him, to Caesar's steakhouse. It was nice - probably better than if he had joined us. I'm not sure what we would have talked about...

Since I will soon be benefit-less, I arranged to have a massage today, met up with dilly d, and wandered over to Shopper's Optical for some contact lenses. Then it was on to the Palliser for Death by Chocolate with Mom and Gina. It was girls' night in honour / celebration (?) of my leaving next week. We had a nice visit; that Gina girl doesn't come out and have fun with us often enough.

Today I called WestJet to advise them I would be bringing a pet onboard. They give you the option to bring your animal in the cabin, but I'm thinking that it might not be the best plan. Knowing Salsa is distressed is more stressful for me, so it might be better for both of us if she's out of sight in the heated, pressurized section of the baggage area.

I keep intending to make the following calls:
- Hydro Quebec regarding getting my account set up for 192D Queen Street
- Bell Canada regarding getting my phone connected
- Danny, the carpet-cleaning dude, regarding coming to wash my carpets next week
- Alberta Health, regarding a forwarding address for my bills

Now that I see that list isn't as long as it used to be, I feel pretty on top of stuff. My biggest project now is the packing, shipping and moving of stuff
  | ¶ 11:05 p.m.

  you'll damage its inner scaring mechanism I've had to start saying my good-byes. And I forgot that it can be pretty hard. I've heard several people say "I'm going to miss you", and every time, I've dismissed the significance of my leaving with "I'll be back soon" or "I'm coming back, you know". But then someone says something that makes me realize that I'm really and truly leaving this life behind, and the sadness creeps up on me.

Today it was Mark. Since he's going away for a long-weekend fishing trip, he won't be here for my last day on Friday. So he generously took me out for lunch today. Mark's definitely my favorite co-worker from this place. Since he'll be reading this, I don't want to get too sentimental, but having someone like him to laugh with has probably contributed significantly to the maintenance of my sanity. We share a similar level of cynicism and sense of humour, so we've had some good fun, despite the many challenges that working in a law firm can present to one's enjoyment. dilly d has reminded me, on the few occasions when people have tried my patience, that "at least people talk to you". Yeah, we have a friendly bunch here.  | ¶ 9:01 p.m.

  chat Lollipop says: i hate him.
Lollipop says: (the donkey)
Regina Phelange says: yep
Regina Phelange says: loser
Lollipop says: it's the little things, like how he can't take a sticky note without mangling the entire sticky-note-pad
Lollipop says: and how he acts like MY desk is fair game to invade and help himself to stuff, like sticky-notes
Regina Phelange says: oh he owns you
Lollipop says: today he forwards me an email with the instructions "please also circle with highlighter"
Lollipop says: (you know how he can't print his own emails, except, you know, when he decides to)
Lollipop says: so I printed it
Lollipop says: and circled those instructions with a pretty pink circle
Lollipop says: CIRCLE WHAT??!!
Regina Phelange says: yeah, that's what I was going to say?
Lollipop says: moron
Regina Phelange says: does he get it? that you think he's an idiot?
Lollipop says: i don't think so  | ¶ 5:28 p.m.

  2 I have this mini-trunk contraption that was originally purchased for me when I was on "Take One" of try-and-get-that-degree at Bishop's. It's kind of a flimsy piece of shit, but it does, you know, hold stuff. Last night I dragged it out of its usual spot in my bedroom as a mirror-holder. I dug through it and retrieved some very old school supplies (why the heck does a girl keep bundles of looseleaf for all these years...?!), then proceeded to fill it back up with the-stuff-that-stays-behind. I've been making good progress cleaning up my life paperwork lately. Last night I threw out the Canadian Securities Course. So much for that lofty endeavour. My enrollment expired earlier this year anyway. Bye-bye, four hundred dollars... Sheesh!  | ¶ 12:26 p.m.

  3 ...and just like a thirsty field I can't complain a bit
'cause I'm thankful for every single drop I get...

(I was listening to Julie Roberts this morning - that's from Rain on a Tin Roof)

I slept for ten hours last night. It was very good to do that.

This morning I was thinking about the difference between going and leaving. Because I've focussed on the going aspect of my back-to-school plan, you know, making all the arrangements to leave, planning my future life in Lennoxville.

But then there's the leaving; I hadn't really spent much time on that. Because that's the tough part, and I don't really want to focus on it. The NOT being here to spend time with my friends and family. Saying good-bye to my current life, in all its mundane detail - the job, the apartment, the car, the routine. Leaving people behind. One thing that I'm very firm on is bringing my computer with me immediately (as opposed to shipping) and having my internet set up ASAP - so as to facilitate the keeping-in-touch with people, albeit electronically. My best living friend in Lennoxville will be my cat. Heh.
  | ¶ 2:49 p.m.

  four Okay, I'm ready for bed now.

Yesterday I joined Pammy to look at some houses with her realtor. It was an interesting experience - not just looking at the homes, but glimpsing into other people's lives. We saw a couple great houses and several not-so-great ones.

After the house-shopping, we went our separate ways for dinner, but arranged to meet up at BU for a couple drinks later on. Tone-L joined us after his day at the pro-am at Redwood. The place was dead, so Derek, our friendly-neighborhood bartender, and Al, the cook, were able to hang out with us. Why does "a couple drinks" never mean a COUPLE DRINKS? I am so very very tired today.
  | ¶ 1:01 p.m.

  par-tay Here's another pic:


It was Steph's last night in town, so we went out to Nick's Steakhouse for dinner. Afterwards, we went to Bottoms Up to hang out with Derek. He and Tone-L shut down the place in the wee hours of the morning, around 5:30. Man!  | ¶ 3:37 p.m.

  Cowgirls Here's a pic from Stampede:


So that's me on the far left, then Sam, Pammy, Roz, and Steph. dilly d had bailed by this point (boozy girl), but the rest of us kept the party going 'til late. This shot was taken at the "Oxford Stomp", held on the grounds at Fort Calgary. It was a super-hot day, and we partook of many beers and cigs, then proceeded on to Ming for more fun. An excellent evening.  | ¶ 3:15 p.m.

  five Today Mark said "what's the word?" And I said "5".
"That's not technically a word, you know," he points out.

So my usual countdown page (9,8, 7,6) is now s-p-e-l-l-e-d out for people. "five"

I listen to a variety of music at work. Sometimes jazz. Sometimes my own mix of mp3s. Some European radio stations. I'm listening to one today that's all "European trance, Techno, Hi NRG". And it makes me want to boogie. It's 2:37 and I really want to call it a day. This week has felt incredibly long.
  | ¶ 4:37 p.m.

  6 The good:

The vet called with Salsa's cytosis (?) results. They looked at her skin samples under a microscope and didn't see any evidence of anything bad. Just inflammation. No cancer.

The not-so-good:

I thought I had a week of so of un-used vacation days that I would get paid out for when I leave. But I asked our office manager this morning and she says I've only got 2.5. So, because I'm not working until the end of the month, these couple days will basically put my paycheque right where it usually is. Bummer. I'd kinda gotten my hopes up about a little extra. Oh well.

The good:

My landlord is going to charge me $18 per day to stay in my apartment a couple extra days. That's reasonable, and makes life a little easier for me.
  | ¶ 1:17 p.m.

  meow So a hundred and twenty dollars later, the vet says I should take Salsa with me across the country. I think I liked this vet better than my usual place. Firstly, they specialize in cats, so you gotta believe they know what they're talking about. They had all these cats in nice cages that they board for people, plus a couple kittens and mature cats looking for homes. Big fluffy guys, too. Cats are fun.

Salsa has a recurring infection in one of her claws, for those not in the loop. We've tried antibiotics, which she hates (I'm forced to crush up pills and put it in canned food for her). We've tried washing with antibacterial soap, which I'm not convinced has done much good. The scrubbing at the infected area just seems to inflame and aggravate the situation. The infection does better when I leave it alone. But it doesn't go away. So the vet gave her a shot of some new kind of antibiotic and sold me more pills, which are supposed to be a bit different than the ones we tried before, and won't upset her stomach. That's always a bonus. She also scraped some sample tissue from the infection to do a slide and see if they can tell what's going on. She'll call me tomorrow with the results. We don't think it's cancer. That's good too.

Did I mention she thinks I should take her with me to Quebec? She says the trauma of travel would be less than the trauma of a new home and owner. Maybe I should take her with me...

What do you think, Persuade?
  | ¶ 8:53 p.m.

  7 Steps taken in the back-to-school project today:

• Emailed my landlord about staying 2 extra days in my apartment, so as not to unnecessarily burden family members with my presence before leaving town. Sounds like it'll work out.
• Mailed my student loan appeal. I was going to wait until I got to school and maybe obtained a part-time job to supplement my bank account before appealing, but due to the stressing (see previous post), I figured, why wait? The thing is, I think they'll reject my claim anyway, since my original letter or assessment stated that "Your costs are higher than those allowed by Students Finance." So I'm not holding my breath, but I figure it's worth a shot.
• Reserved a rental car. The quote was US $88, so let's hope it's somewhere in that neighborhood once they add on all the rip-you-off-at-pick-up charges.
• Persuade is on the job, trying to find a foster home for Salsa. When I take her to the vet tonight (the cat, not Persuade), I'll ask if they know any additional resources for cat foster care.

That's the scoop.

  | ¶ 5:53 p.m.

  the cargo I'm starting to stress more and more. Couldn't sleep last night because my mind was going in circles, thinking about what I still need to do, and stressing. GRR.

Things on my mind this week:

• worried about money - both having enough to last the year, and having enough cash to get done the stuff that needs to get done before leaving town (i.e. renting a u-haul, getting carpets cleaned, shipping boxes to myself in Lennoxville, paying final bills)
• worried about the logistics of travelling with the cat. Re-thinking whether I should just give her away permanently in Calgary to avoid putting her through the stress of travel and a new home, only to put her through it all again in less than a year. She's no spring-chicken, you know!
• going through what to bring and what to leave behind. And what to do with the stuff I'm leaving behind. Sell? or store? Thank goodness I don't have to deal with the hassle of renting some type of storage space. But I feel somewhat guilty that I'm putting my family out with stuff they either can't use or can use, but resent the indian-giving (is it p.c. to call it that?) that comes with the donation. I'm going to be asking for everything back when I come back. And the whole coming-back-penniless-and-homeless-but-with-my-degree is something I don't even want to contemplate at this point.
• I'm trying to get my probation-status resolved with the school, too. I need 32 credits, which means, ideally, I would take 16 each semester. But, because of my less-than-stellar academic performance as an 18-23-year-old, they are limiting my credits to 15 for the first semester. As dilly d pointed out, what do they care? It's my money I'm spending, so shouldn't I be able to decide whether to take on an extra credit...?
• Realized recently that I'm also going to have to toss any food I've got leftover. I'm going to be shipping enough stuff to myself (blankets, winter clothes, small appliances) that food is an unnecessary item to be bringing. My new apartment is pretty close to the grocery store anyway. More money to spend getting set up. Sheesh.

Here's the part where I put things into perspective. I know that this is the right decision and I honestly don't have second-thoughts about the going-and-getting-it-done part. Every single day I go to work I'm reminded of the type of job I'm going to be stuck doing if I don't do something to move forward. I had a good chat with Mark about it again today (it's a recurring theme in our discussions). He's kinda in a different spot, what with being a lawyer and all, so he has to deal with a different type of bullshit. I felt bad for him today.

It's at the point now where I don't have much respect for certain lawyers. A law firm is the worst place to work as an administrative person, too, because of the indentured-servant feeling of it all. I'm sick of being a babysitter. And I'm sick of being treated like a person who has less value simply because of my role within this company. Even if I have to start at the bottom all over again when I get back, I absolutely resolve to not take another job with no prospects for growth, challenge and real responsibility.

  | ¶ 11:48 p.m.

  things that can go wrong in the morning

• You blow a fuse while blow-drying your hair.
• You drop your watch in the toilet.
• You smear deodorant on your clothing.
• You burn the lunch you were cooking.
• You miss your bus.
• You run out of foundation.
• You step on your cat's foot.
• You can't find anything to wear that looks right.
• You forget to bring your purse.
• You spill juice on your pants.

  | ¶ 12:03 p.m.

  threadbare Another day of rafting. Exhausting. We took Keri, Kyle and Caia today. It's a different experience going with children. Since we had a little convoy of three rafts tied together, Caia was all over the place, jumping from boat to boat non-stop. Kyle was more subdued, covered with a towel and laying back with his eyes closed to relax. We gobbled Doritos, splashed a little, and raced each other down the river. And nobody capsized today!

I downloaded the entire Corrs album this weekend. It's called Borrowed Heaven, and it's definitely some quality music. I burned CDs for both dilly d and I consisting of the Corrs and some other fun tunes I've discovered recently listening to Virgin Radio from the UK and Frequence3 from France. And the best part is being able to listen to the burned CD in my newly-cleaned-and-performing-as-it-should stereo. Yee-haw.
  | ¶ 9:48 p.m.

  Something AWESOME happened today For quite a while now my stereo has been quite finicky about which CDs it would play. It especially would not play any home-burned CDs. So although for the most part I've stopped paying for CDs, I've been unable to enjoy my music on a top-quality stereo (okay, it's not top quality, but it's pretty good). During the overwhelming, ongoing overthinking exercise that I'm involved in, in preparation to leave town with only the bare essential for possessions, I debated what should happen to this part-lame stereo. One idea consisted of buying those "CD cleaning" CDs in an attempt to determine just how worthless the stereo was. So today at Canadian Tire (or, Canadian Wheel for those who call it that...), I purchased a CD cleaning CD. And tried it. And guess what?

It worked! Now, all my homemade CDs that I'd had to give up listening to are back in the rotation. Silly me, I should have tried this ages ago! Whatever. I'm happy it's not a write-off anyway.

Whoop!
  | ¶ 7:08 p.m.

  think tank I have three magazines lying beside my bed. They are: Vanity Fair, Vanity Fair and Vanity Fair. The June, July and August editions. And yes, I'm actually reading all three concurrently. This magazine tends to have rather long articles, often about obscure topics, ones you wouldn't think you'd be interested in until you read them, so I kinda take my time getting through them, getting to them. I just finished a very educational piece on Tom DeLay (from the U.S. senate or congress or something...). He sounds like one of those dirty politicians along the lines of George W. and his gang. And, he's from Texas. Hmm. I read another piece yesterday about the Reagans, an excerpt from an upcoming book that sounds decent. An interview with Brad (Pitt, duh!). Another with Jessica Simpson. Vanity Fair is one of my favourite magazines.

I just walked across the street to my Mac's to get myself a coff-ay and bus tickets, so I perused the shiny new magazines on the racks. I have a true weakness for magazines. Today, especially, I was tempted to buy a handful of them. They're just so shiny and pretty. To my dismay there's already another Vanity Fair mag out - the September edition! Guess I better finish these other three off so I can justify investing in new one. Reese Witherspoon is on the cover this month - she's so shiny and pretty.

  | ¶ 1:15 p.m.

  twirling Some dreams I've had recently:

• I am holding an awkward, heavy sword-thing. And I'm under orders to cut people with it. So I reluctantly and clumsily reach out and slash three people. I got the first girl in the neck and a woman tells me later that she's dying and we should try to make her comfortable. Then I woke up and didn't feel so good about myself.
  
  
• It's Doug. We are just enjoying each other's company for a change. Some dancing begins and we get up to join in. But instead he picks me up and twirls me around and around, carefree and happy. I wake up with a light feeling.

  | ¶ 11:45 a.m.

  Persuade gets news smalls says: Guess who got a VISA?!??Come on GUESS?
candyfighter says: umm. Julia Roberts?
candyfighter says: ;)
candyfighter says: nice work!
smalls says: YES!
smalls says: so happy for her!
smalls says: you?
candyfighter says: i didn't get one
candyfighter says: but i'm happy for her too
smalls says: hmmm, sorry about your luck
smalls says: yeah she rocks
candyfighter says: BIG sigh of relief!!
smalls says: oh yeah
  | ¶ 1:02 p.m.

  10 Two weeks from today is my last day of work.

Three weeks from today I fly to Montreal.
  | ¶ 12:59 p.m.

  "What's the name of this adventure?" she said. Retro-disco Bishop's REWIND Tour
  | ¶ 1:32 p.m.

  12 Classes start four weeks from today. Eep.
  | ¶ 11:38 a.m.

  13

• number of working days left to go after today
• this number is displayed prominently in my cube
• every day it decreases by one (help for the mathematically challenged)

Woot.

  | ¶ 11:47 a.m.

  oh, Nach, why'd you have to go?   | ¶ 1:36 p.m.

  i quit Dear Superior:

This letter is to advise that I, Super-CandyFighter, will be tendering my resignation as Legal Secretary effective August 27th, 2004.

I would like to express my thanks for all your support and assistance and to say that it has been a pleasure to work with everyone, except for Donkey-Ass.

Sincerely,
Super-CandyFighter

cc: Donkey Ass
  | ¶ 5:14 p.m.

  catcalls Operation Bring Nacho Home:



Click for larger version of flyer.
  | ¶ 4:29 p.m.

  'I didn't realise what it really meant' "War's stupid," he said. "Nobody wins. You might as well talk first, you have to talk last anyway."

Yeah.

From this story.
  | ¶ 4:19 p.m.

  I deleted my cookies So I have to re-enter usernames and passwords on all my "remember me" login sites, like Blogger. W/e...

I started getting rid of stuff in my apartment. Keri, Gina and the kids have arrived and have a big house to fill and kinda need stuff. So before returning the gigantic U-haul truck that he drove across the country in (all the way from Charlottetown, PEI, people - crazy), he came by and picked up my big couch and my elliptical trainer. I decided I'm not prepared to go bed-less for the next few weeks, so Kyle (his oldest, who's getting my bed, I believe) will have to wait a little longer. My livingroom is looking a little bare without these two big items, though. No more couch naps for me.

I hope I can find a semi-furnished place to live in Lennoxville. I'm not bringing furniture with me on the plane. It'll be hard to use this computer lying on the floor!
  | ¶ 2:28 p.m.