sky rockets in flight   | ¶ 11:23 p.m.

  it can't just be intellectual I had a crazily productive and adventurous day. Started early with a trip to the boat store as planned, followed by a yummy breakfast at Nellie's with froo and Caia. I took Fred for an oil change, and headed to the mall for some errands. Yay, I've got a cell phone. People can call me now!

Around 1:00 we gathered here at the family commune and loaded up our gear. Because we had 4 big people and 2 little people going rafting, we ended up taking two vehicles to the launch point at Bowness Park. Parking was challenging, as usual. That's a nice park and there are always a bazillion people having company picnics, family reunions, etc. But we found two spots, unloaded and lugged our gear to a patch of grass, then began the tedious process of pumping up boats. Two 4-man boats, one 1-man boat (the "supply boat"), two inflatable pillows. Everybody got a layer of sunscreen and a personal flotation device, and we shoved off pretty quickly.

When rafting the first chunk of the ride is a little uneventful while everyone relaxes and gets into the experience. There was a thin layer of high cloud, so we weren't especially hot and didn't feel the need to test out the water immediately. Within about an hour, though, little Chris and Keri started jumping in and splashing everyone. The water took a little getting used to, but as the cloud dissipated and the sun burned hotter, we all ended up in the water for some quality swimming time.

The challenge with swimming / floating down the Bow River is paying attention to the water depth because you can be drifting rapidly along with the current and start getting bumped by the rocks on the bottom. The depth fluctuates numerous times, and to varying degrees. Twice we got caught with rapidly-approaching shallow sections where we were scrambling to get everybody back into the boats so they wouldn't end up with bruised knees. All of us probably scraped up our feet a bit - the current is so fast that you try and stand up or run along but the water drags you faster than you can manage and your feet can't keep up.

The second incident was a little scary for Kyle. He and Keri were drifting behind the boat a few feet when we noticed that our pace was increasing suddenly. I managed to swim over and haul myself into the boat after a bit of foot-scraping, then little Chris got in, but we couldn't slow down enough to wait for Keri and Kyle (it's hard to paddle against that current), so the two of them kinda got dragged through a fairly shallow section, with Keri protecting his son on his chest and letting himself get bumped along on the rocks. We managed to pull over and wait for them a little ways up, but poor little Kyle was a little shaken up. They had their life jackets on and both can swim, but it was a bit of a crazy adventure...!

I would like to point at that this incident occurred in the same river section where I capsized last year. Mom, froo and I were rafting one day and getting close to going over a big rock - I was in the one-man boat and was so focussed on not having the big boat go over the rock (we're always tied together) that I didn't even notice myself getting flipped right over. I flailed around for a minute trying to figure out which way was up, then I just put my feet under me and stood up, since the water was all of one foot deep right there. Sheesh.

It is a h-o-t day here in Calgary; they got the forecast right. I'll have some pictures from our day posted as soon as froo gets them loaded to her flickr account.

[Edit: she's quick. Here's the set.]  | ¶ 11:01 p.m.

  froo news! Tentative deal in container truck strike

Maybe my floors can get here!  | ¶ 12:22 p.m.

  after the flood all the colors came out It pays to work overtime at my firm. I got my first paycheque with six hours of OT on it this week - almost 200 extra dollars. That'll help pay the bills! Might "incent" me to work more long days, too...

We've got a big rafting day planned tomorrow. froo, Caia and me in the girls' boat and Keri, "little" Chris and Kyle in the boys' boat. They're predicting some great weather for the long weekend, so hopefully they've got it right for a change. I'm getting up early to get myself over to Sportsrent for a raft and lifejackets. Gina is working, so mom ("Gram", the kids call her) is going to babysit Ella, who's still a little too young to bring out on a boat. She'll get to go swimming with Gram anyway, over at a nice public wading pool.

Rafting down the Bow River here in Calgary is quite a fun and relaxing thing, while you're actually just doing the floating part. But all the other crap involved is actually a bit of a pain in the butt. Dropping off a car at the exit point, smushing people and gear into one vehicle and driving to the launch point, struggling to inflate all your boats, with varying quality airpumps. Then, at the end, dragging the boats to a good de-flating point, lying and rolling on the boats to get all the air out, lugging them back to your vehicle, cramming everyone in and driving back to the launch point to get the first car. It's kind of a lot of work, but generally worth it. Since we'll have the younger kids with us tomorrow we won't float the full four-hour ride we sometimes do, but get out after two hours or so. Should be fun.  | ¶ 1:24 a.m.

  Stacey can't you see you're just not the girl for me Yesterday I saw that Stacey (my boss) had her degree in her office and found it amusing to note that not only do we have the same first name, but we share the same middle name as well. Funny.

Another thing I've observed is that I find myself calling her "Stace". The reason that's a bit odd, in my view, is that I'm sort of particular about the people that I am okay with having abbreviate my name. "Stace" seems to indicate a degree a familiarity that not everybody should just presume. The same way that calling my sister "Dan" isn't something everybody can probably get away with - people sometimes assume she's a boy when you refer to her that way. She's not a boy; she's a girl named Dani...!

We're all about abbreviating names in my family. I used to think it was funny that my mom called my aunt Eva "Eve", or my brother Keri "Ker", but it's a habit that I've picked up. Jamie is "Jame". Dalton is "Dalt". Kris is, well, "Kris".

At work when Stacey is talking to clients and mentions that "Stacey is working on that right now", some of them think she's starting to lose it and talking about herself in the third person. She has to clarify that her assistant is also named Stacey. And when Boss is running around barking orders, we both just assume he's talking to us. Keeps us on our toes. Or something.  | ¶ 12:37 p.m.

  Ah-chooooo! Chief, are you coming down with something? Maybe you should take a day off...

  | ¶ 12:10 a.m.

  you're the fastest runner but you're not allowed to win I ran last night. I did the 3.5 km loop in 22 minutes again. I had run that loop with Keri on Saturday - after almost two weeks of not running - and it was pretty tough. Keri, on the other hand, used it as a warm-up and went on to run another 45 minutes (champ!). Yesterday was a LOT easier. I'm still waiting to feel like I'm making more progress, though. I find I almost never wake up in the morning actually feeling rested. But I wonder if that's more to do with having a job that I don't necessarily want to leap out of bed for.

I had lunch (well, coffee and snacks) with my friend smalls yesterday. She and I have been able to empathize with each other about the transition to real life after going back to school this past year. It has been challenging for both of us, and we were jokingly discussing how to get ourselves back to being students.

Now, obviously school isn't easy. It's a whole other kind of stress that you kinda forget about after having worked for a few years. But it kinda brings you back to life in a way that you didn't know you needed. Knowing that you're accountable only to yourself is a feeling that probably can't quite be described. Not to mention that you don't fully appreciate that perspective when you're young and haven't really been accountable to anyone other than your parents (I certainly did not have that perspective the first time around as a university student)...

But for now I'll just keep on running, trying to fight off that feeling of resignation, trying to focus on the good stuff, and making my plan to move forward. What's next, besides more blisters on my feet...?  | ¶ 12:46 p.m.

  cold water surrounds me now "...and authorities in Malaysia arrested fifty-eight people who worship a giant teapot".

We can't have that, now can we.  | ¶ 12:02 a.m.

  gold and wine colored pathways Moving date: August 1, 9:30 AM

From: Mom's basement, bedroom on the left

To: Charleswood Drive, across from the London Drugs, apartment 41

Occupants: Stacey and Salsa

Helpers: YOU!

I've reserved my U-haul cargo van, I've been packed for months; I think I'm just about ready. I'm really looking forward to unpacking and using all my stuff that's been unavailable to me for so long. My own stereo, my own computer, my own potato masher, my own bed, pots & pans. Weird how you miss some of these things.  | ¶ 4:25 p.m.

  multiply life by the power of two This weekend I had it in my head that I needed to go to Michael's (an art & craft supply store) and find myself a hobby. Knitting? Jewellery-making? Painting? Scrapbooking?

I thought there was a Michael's out at Crowfoot Centre, but Gina and I drove around the entire area and didn't find one. Finally we checked a phone book and learned that there are only two in Calgary - one in the West and one w-a-y down South (we were northwest at this point). So we visited Rona and Petland instead. The highlight / lowlight of the Petland visit was observing one puppy gobble up the poop straight out of his roommate's butt. What is with puppies and their urge to eat shit...?

After that failed attempt to get to a craft store, I tried again the next day. This time Caia was my shopping companion. At 6 years of age, miss Caia has quite the creative side and enjoys doing crafts, so I thought it might be fun for her to see all the stuff they have at a crafty store like Michael's. We browsed ALL of the aisles, taking in the overwhelming amount of supplies and picking up some fun kids' craft stuff.

Since I helped pick out all the craft supplies, I decided to dive right in with the kids and do some crafts when we got home. We had purchased some small wood pieces designed for assembling, gluing and painting, so we (Ella, Kyle, Caia and me) each sat down to create a masterpiece. Ella mainly splashed dirty paint water on her wood piece, so she has a mostly wet-looking ladybug creation. Kyle seemed intent on setting the world record for most popsicle sticks glued together (blue, orange, blue, orange, etc.). Caia quickly painted up several nice pieces - a flower, a butterfly, a ladybug - and stuck the letters of her name on the backs of them (we bought foam letter stickers). I made a little house out of a few small pieces. We all had fun with the crafts, I think.

I know what you're thinking, though. Did I find a hobby or not! Umm, nope. I didn't buy one thing for myself. If I were going to get a crafty hobby, the ones in my head that seem most appealing are maybe soap-making (is that even a craft?) or jewellery making (not hemp, but silver and beads..?). But maybe I better just stick with piano-playing. No special equipment required. Oh, except a piano. I need to get one of those...  | ¶ 11:19 a.m.

  I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it Those Indigo Girls never disappoint. Keri, froo and I attended Folkfest tonight down at Prince's Island Park, and it was a nice, nice evening. Ron Sexsmith played a really good set early, and there were a lot of unfamiliar acts in between, but the concert was closed off with the solid-as-usual performance by Amy and Emily. Closer to Fine, Galileo, Ghost, Shame on You, Land of Canaan, Chicken Man, and some newer ones I didn't quite recognize - those ladies are extremely musical with amazing harmony. It was awesome. Keri and I had seen them play at Lillith Fair a few years back and agree that they are the best concert you could see.

Later I'll tell you about the yellow raincoat dance.  | ¶ 2:18 a.m.

  then they send me away, teach me how to be sensible I was telling Pammy P. and Tone-L last night that moving will be fairly easy for me next weekend since I've never really unpacked; it's just a matter of re-locating my boxes, really. I just gotta find myself a truck and some willing lifters for the bigger stuff stored at froo's and Keri's.

I read an interesting article in Maclean's magazine earlier today.

Dave Bronconnier, the apple-cheeked mayor of Canada's biggest boom town, poured from a jug of mojitos and talked about Calgary's amazing prosperity.

"After the Stampede we're going to come out with migration numbers that show our planning department was only off by 100 per cent. We predicted 12,000 more people would move to Calgary than left over the past year. It's closer to 24,000."

Calgary had the highest population growth of any major Canadian city in 2004. (Fort McMurray, the gateway to northern Alberta's fabulously lucrative oil sands, grew faster, but it's not a major city. Yet.) Forty-five new cars go onto Calgary's roads every day...

Wow. I'm telling you, you feel it in the air here, the optimism, the smell of money. People got a lot of it here. Not me personally. Now that I'm a grown-up, I gotta start using my cash to pay my own rent...!  | ¶ 5:37 p.m.

  I got photo radar :(

Going 64 in a 50 zone on July 4 at 8:30 PM. $87.

Sucks.  | ¶ 10:28 p.m.

  girls lie too Women turn up heat to beat the freeze

...fellow lawyer Lisa Stam, 34, partially solves the problem by dressing for work as if for a funeral. Yesterday, despite a humidex alert, she wore black shoes, black dress socks, black dress pants "and a black sweater with a nice, big, thick collar".

It's not just me who doesn't like the world cold.  | ¶ 12:27 p.m.

  my hands are small, I know In office news, today I was revising a short form offering memorandum for one of our clients who is in the midst of an amalgamation and want to do some financing as soon as that closes. It was kinda interesting, actually, because I'm using a precedent from another deal, but I have to read some of the documents related to this deal to fill in the new details (i.e. we are offering x number of shares at a price of $x per share, to a maximum of 1.5 million shares). Fascinating, huh. I also made progress on some of my FOUR sets of closing books waiting to be assembled. I can probably get one set out the door this week. But we have a takeover bid deal closing this week, too, so hopefully that doesn't blow up and keep me from making any progress.

In real life news, Dalt went in to the clinic today for some follow-up and they decided they better admit him to the hospital. With a blood clot, I guess they give you blood thinners, but maybe he's got too much because he's got lots of crazy bruising up and down his leg. His leg is still rock-hard with the muscle spasm or whatever. Since Gina was working at the hospital tonight, she packed him a bag and we all drove over when she went so we could visit with him. Poor Dalt. Send him your prayers.  | ¶ 10:52 p.m.

  they say home is where the heart is Wow. This weekend was a bad one for some people. Serious health problems. My step-father has a blood clot in his leg - pretty critical issue there. Devin's mom has her own struggles.

And I thought I had it bad when the c-trains all broke and I had to walk for an hour to get home. Actually it was sorta my choice to walk - it was a nice day and I didn't feel like waiting with the other hundreds of stranded c-train riders to cram into the next bus. An hour is a solid walk, though. I was wearing reasonable sandals, but I had some blisters when I got home.

On my walk home I passed by a community centre with an outdoor pool. It had the perfect amount of people swimming so it wasn't too crowded. I could smell the chlorine wafting through the air, and I gazed over the surface of the perfectly turquoise water and remembered what it was like to be one of those kids enjoying a hot summer afternoon at the pool. My brothers and sister and I used to swim at the Kiwanis pool in Moncton. I remember that it was a bit of a hike through some fairly busy streets for us kids (who was in charge?). We spent many afternoons splashing and playing at that pool beside the Dud James Arena. I wish I could have an afternoon like that again, lounging poolside while the grown-ups work.  | ¶ 12:00 a.m.

  you could always make me laugh out loud I'm moving soon. I rented the first apartment I went to see yesterday. It is close to here, so I'll be five minutes away from my family. It's also right across the street from London Drugs and Safeway, so I've got amenities very handy to me. The new apartment is a one-bedroom, 600 square feet and costs $630 per month (compare that to my L'ville no-bedroom shack at $400). It's on the second floor of a two-storey building, on the back (so, away from the busy traffic of Charleswood Drive). It does not have a balcony, but has good-sized windows which are not on the south side (I've had south-facing windows before and my apartment was smoking hot).

I signed a six-month lease. The apartment is about halfway between two train stations, so my work transportation is convenient. No more carpooling with Keri and Dalt...(!) unless I can convince them to pick me up... (not likely). Now I just have to make arrangements to round up my stuff. Bed, lamps, table, bookshelf,mirror from froo's place; dresser, TV, lamps, couch from Keri and Gina's; numerous boxes from those two places and from Mom's basement. Yay, I'll get to unpack!  | ¶ 10:48 p.m.

  don't say nothing's wrong This is funny. froo made a little video clip from the bull-riding the other day at the rodeo. That's me at the end laughing and cheering for the bull.  | ¶ 8:56 p.m.

  why can't every day be just this good We're hardcore in this town during Stampede. I just walked by the Metropolitan Grill (restaurant / lounge downstairs) and there's a breakfast party going on. People are drinking beer before 8:30 in the morning! froo is attending a similar function this morning - one of those all-day booze fests. Gonna be a gongshow...  | ¶ 10:24 a.m.

  because froo looks better in *this* one... (it's all about the hat!)
  | ¶ 3:27 p.m.

  rodeo cowgirls   | ¶ 1:00 p.m.

  just give me what I want and no one gets hurt... The rodeo was quite fun today. I cheered when the baby cows got away (two in a row!) and I cringed when some of the horses stumbled and almost fell on their faces. froo and I couldn't figure out why so many of them were falling today - usually they're pretty solid on their feet, even when bucking. It's really a sad spectacle, when you see what these animals go through. While they're waiting for their event, they have them enclosed in some pretty small cage-like pens, and some of them kinda panic and start flailing around. But there's nowhere for them to go, so it's ugly and disturbing to see.

The worst part of the calf-roping event is that, after the cowboy lassos the calf, his rope kinda goes slack because he's pretty close to the animal, but the calf doesn't know he's got a rope around his neck and he keeps running at full tilt. Then that rope goes taut and the poor baby animal is yanked off his feet by the head and often sorta flies up in the air, landing hard. Then there's the picking up and throwing to the ground of the baby cow, and the tying of three legs. To add further humiliation, the cowboy walks back to his horse who is often pacing just a bit, so the baby cow - tied and lassod and helpless - gets dragged slowly in the dirt.

On a happier note, the bull-riding was great. Those bulls are big and spunky. And the cowboys riding them were young and cute. froo had gotten me a pass for her company box, so at this point we were really close to the action. She took some pics so I'll post 'em later.

It was hot-hot-hot in the grandstand where my firm had our seats. I was coated in layers of sunscreen but I could feel myself burning anyway. A lot of people had jeans on and were roasting, so it was good that I was wearing my teeny tiny skirt.

~End of Day 6 Stampede report.  | ¶ 10:25 p.m.

  my memory is muddy, what's this river that I'm in Oopsy. So I totally did not go to either of the parties I planned to yesterday. My friends Pammy P and Tone-L just got back into town from their weekend in Mont-Tremblant, so we opted to get together for some non-stampede catch-up drinks. Sam's in Kensington, then Bottoms Up. Then Eddie Bodeans. I hurt today, a little bit.

The office manager at work has been making the rounds delivering rodeo tickets, drink tickets, transit tickets and taxi chits for our afternoon adventure. I'm totally exhausted, but it's supposed to be a nice sunny day, so I'm going to get some caffeine in me and see how I hold up. Go baby cows!

froo is also having Stampede adventures today. She'll be at the rodeo too (in a fancy suite), and gets to see 54-40 later at the O&Y party. I kinda wish I could see that show too, but the tickets are pricey and hard to get.

Nobody noticed that I left work early yesterday. Phew.  | ¶ 12:44 p.m.

  this is heaven to no one else but me Okay, so it's Day 4 of the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth. What have I done to celebrate so far? Well, Sunday was "Family Day" on the grounds, so I joined Keri, Gina, Kyle, Caia and Ella and we took in some of the sights. While Gina took the older kids to see the superdogs, Keri and I found a spot on the grass in front of the Coca-Cola stage for the Barney show. Really! The truth is that I only lasted one song and then I decided to take a stroll around. There are a ton of rides and games to waste your money on, but I opted instead for food. A tiny hotdog for $3.50 (better than the $5.00 one), and then some mini-donuts. Mini-donuts are all the rage at Stampede time, and I'd actually never tried them before. They were good - and loaded with sugar. Two little bags for $5.00 is a good deal, though.

They have the kids rides in a special section of the fair grounds - sort of a miniature version of everything. The kids went on the rollercoaster, the merry-go-round, the ferris wheel (I did that one too), the swings, and some spinny monkey-head ride.

Now that we've got Monday over and done with some of the real grown-up parties are starting. I'm trying to get myself invited to the CBA party this afternoon at the Whiskey (Calgary Bar Association - big lawyer drunkfest, apparently), but if that fails, the building where Dalt and Keri work is having a little shindig that I'll drop in on. Tomorrow is our firm function. We shut down before noon and head down to the grounds for lunch and rodeo (and beers).

I jogged on Sunday, but my running schedule might be shelved for a week while I'm partaking in various festivities. Mark said I should fall off the wagon. I'm easily persuaded...  | ¶ 10:55 a.m.

  Stampede Report: Day One I couldn't quite get up the energy to get out to the party this afternoon / tonight. After yesterday's jogging followed by a pilates workout, my body has been letting me know that more rest and recovery time is required. I did do what I'd planned this morning and hit the mall (I hate shopping, but sometimes it's gotta be done). I bought jeans, a belt, sandals, and some, ahem "intimate apparel" (that's what they call it at the Bay!).

Most of the stuff I bought was on sale. It's nice to catch la Senza on a sale day, too; bras are expensive. The most costly item, however, was the Parasuco jeans for $110. Good thing I got myself my fancy high-paying job to cover these bills...(!) I'm all too aware that I've already been somewhat sucked into the mindset where more purchasing power and increased consumerism become sufficient reward for the stress of working. It's easy to get sucked into this pattern, though. Living in a city, especially, you're suddenly surrounded by so much stuff you didn't know you needed.

Anyway, I went so far as putting on my "costume" today. Jean skirt, tank top, cowboy hat, new sandals. But I was dragging my ass a bit, so called froo and said I would need to stay home and nap instead. That's what I did: a nice two-hour nap. Then a trip to Dairy Queen for a burger and fries (too hot / lazy to cook). I joined Gina in front of the big screen (she's recovering {i.e. suffering} from a wisdom tooth extraction this morning) and we watched the Bourne Supremacy.

froo checked in a while ago and said the Whiskey was fun and they had progressed to the Ship & Anchor, but she was ready to call it a night. I'm okay with having missed the revelry - there are nine more days to par-tay.  | ¶ 12:59 a.m.

  The plan - Friday, July 8 Please see below. We're actually heading down for 3:00.
I am wearing a jean skirt and cowboy boots. And my new hat.

_____________________________________________
From: Dani
Sent: Friday, July 08, 2005 10:43 AM
To: Dan; Ameera; Chi; Ted; Chris; Jeremy; Georgina; Judy; Scott; Andy; Steve; Catherine; Jennifer; Alan; Correne; Joe; Anders; Chris; Tanya; Dani
Subject: Updated: YAHOOOOO!
When: Friday, July 08, 2005 4:00 PM-6:00 PM (GMT-07:00) Mountain Time (US & Canada).
Where: Whiskey Patio

Ameera's coming back to kickoff Stampede properly.

Join us in revelry!

[ the Whiskey is at 341 10th Ave SW ]
  | ¶ 12:49 p.m.

  I shoulda been a cowboy; I shoulda learned to rope and ride Tomorrow is a holiday. Okay, it's not really a holiday. It's only a holiday if you work in downtown Calgary. It's PARADE DAY to kick off the 2005 Calgary Stampede. I'm totally going shopping, since half of the city will be downtown watching the parade (the stores will be open in the suburbs).

With another long weekend ahead of me you'd think I'd have gone out for some drinks after work today, especially after the hellish week I've had. I wanted to, but it didn't happen, and I came home and went for a run instead. 3.5 km loop today. Then I did pilates. I'm telling you, July is fitness month.

So, for those who don't live in Calgary and don't know much about the Stampede experience, I will tell a little bit of the story. It is seriously a city-wide 10-day party - a costume party, froo calls it. Everybody downtown stops working hard and puts on their western wear. There are some truly awful western-style clothes out there; me, I play it safe with a jean skirt and black cowboy hat (pic from last year).

There are pancake breakfasts all over town - some are free! For instance this one that travels around serving hundreds of people a day. That's kinda cool.

Like most companies, my firm has a Stampede function for us. Next Wednesday we are all taking the afternoon off to attend the rodeo. I actually don't enjoy the rodeo all that much (see previous comment thread about scared baby cows), but I'll just avert my eyes during the worst parts (scared baby cows being thrown to the ground and their legs tied). Sometimes the baby cows manage to outrun the cowboys chasing them - poor quality lassoing or something - and they get away. That's the good part of the show; froo and I cheer when that happens (then the tough-looking dudes in the crowd give us dirty looks; it is the West, after all).

One thing I find a little funny about the Stampede is how it actually starts the day before parade day. They open the Stampede grounds and you can go on all the rides and see some of the shows. The grandstand show (featuring the Young Canadians) has its final dress rehearsal in what's called "Sneak-a-peek". The fireworks show will start tonight as part of that (they usually tie in the fireworks to the grand finale of the show).

People are already in the spirit of things too. Today I spotted a multitude of cowboy hats and various cowboy outfits being sported around town. I even tried on a pink cowboy hat today (Boss is getting some for some of the girls in the office). There was a fashion show on Stephen Avenue with models showing off bikinis and cowboy hats (mostly men watching this show). Which reminds me:


This grown-up party starts now. YAHOOOOO.  | ¶ 12:59 a.m.

  everything in its right place My friend Christa makes me laugh:

i tried to call you and realized I didn't have your number (funny story- ...involves a "drinking and dialing incident"....)...anyhow, let's just say that there are many s ryan's in calgary and the operator wasn't amused when I demanded that she give all of them to me and please hold while I borrow a pen from someone!!  | ¶ 11:49 p.m.

  we drift deeper into the sound Twice since I've started jogging I've gotten all ambitious and run a much longer run than my manageable 3.5 km / 20 minute loop. Both times it has knocked me on my ass, in a manner of speaking. This past Sunday I tried a new loop. I thought running from 19th Street to 14th Street would be a fairly short run - sounds like five blocks, no? Alas, there are numerous non-numbered streets along that route that I was not aware of, so my run was longer than I thought it would be. For the first time I actually had to stop and walk a short section - that's something I really try to avoid.

When I measured it later with Fred, the distance covered was 5.0 km, minus the 0.3 that I walked. I ran a 4.7 km run in about 30 minutes. And I've been zonked ever since. It doesn't help that work has been ultra-stressful this week and I'm not sleeping so well.

Also, a new lawyer started at the firm on Monday and I'm supposed to be his assistant, in addition to working for Stacey. Yesterday I finally had to tell our office manager / supervisor that I simply couldn't do all the work being dumped on me, so she took all his stuff and found other assistants to help him out. Some assistant I am, eh.

I've been pretty unhappy at work this week. My desk is just plastered with papers, files, closing books, documents from last week's closings waiting to be assembled in new closing books, and I basically sit there feeling paralyzed with stress, not knowing where to start, especially since Stacey is at my desk every ten minutes with something that must be done right now. We're in the fire-fighting business, and there's never time to get caught up and organized.

I'm not sure if it'll all be worth it next week when I get my first paycheque. Cash does not really balance out the quality of life you live everyday at work, I don't think. At least when I jog the results mean something. Running around like a fool in the office is, well, foolish.  | ¶ 10:54 p.m.

  heartache to heartache we stand I started my day this morning gobbling up some toast with a two-year-old in my lap. I ended my evening tonight eating leftover turkey dinner, with a two-year-old in my lap. She kept stealing my carrots. Those were probably the best parts of my day.

In between was the rat-race blur of crisis management. Unpack boxes (I moved cubes over the weekend). Hastily prepare documents. Quickly eat lunch. Frantically organize documents. Order CUSIP number; website fails; try again; fail; again; fail. Quitting time. Come home mad at the lack of order and efficiency. De-compress with some power yoga and movies on the big screen (i.e. Dalt's TV; he's away).

Tomorrow we do it all again.  | ¶ 1:09 a.m.

  when he kissed me I knew Yesterday I picked up a new magazine, Women's Health - published by the same group that does Men's Health, a respectable publication. It's a pretty new venture for them, I guess, because they don't even have it on their website yet.

This is a great magazine! It has a ton of useful content - even a training schedule for preparing for a 5-K run, which is something I'd kinda like to do. I'm all inspired to keep up my new fitness routine and to add more things, like a better effort at eating healthy and adding diverse elements like pilates, yoga and weight training (not to bulk up {which I tend to do} but to maintain leanness).

I hereby declare July Stacey's-Fitness-Month. At this time next month I'm going to be super-buff. Fit, lean and toned.  | ¶ 2:43 p.m.

  you give love a bad name I know my blog is seriously lacking in quality content lately. I attribute that to a variety of factors, such as not having the use of my own computer, not having my own physical space to inspire sharing and creativity, and generally not feeling so wonderful about how my life has been going since I became a university graduate.

I have been lamenting aspects of this to some of you, so I won't belabour the points about how frustrating and disappointing it is to be back exactly where I was a year ago at this time, job-wise. And it's not that I hate the job exactly - securities law is fast-paced and hectic (not to mention fairly well-paid), so it can be pretty satisfying to work a long hard day and have made real progress on projects. On the other hand it can also be very stressful and non-satisfying when there isn't enough time to produce thorough, quality work. I'm rather disillusioned with this area being one that will ever give me long-term satisfaction.

My problem is that this path is one that is so familiar that I seem to not really know how to get myself pointed in another direction. My mother and step-father have been kind enough to give me a temporary home in their basement, but as a responsible adult, job security and reliable income in order to facilitate independent living (man, I sound like a special-needs person) are becoming more urgent. Not having somewhere to truly settle in and make my own is taking a toll on me. So in a way maybe I'm compromising what I see as my long-term career goals (i.e. not what I'm doing now) for the short-term relief of being able to pay my own rent.

I've been mulling making a big change like getting out of Calgary. I've debated taking a week sometime soon to visit Vancouver (do you have a guestroom, Kris?) and see if that city grabs me. I enjoyed it for the brief time froo and I passed through on the 30th-birthday-roadtrip-extravaganza last year. But I've also heard that the rainy season can be ultra-depressing. I do love the usually-sunny days of Calgary. Climate is not the deciding factor, of course. There are always reasons to maintain the status quo.

In discussions with various people recently I've been reminded, though, that (a) I don't need to be in Calgary to be a legal secretary, (b) opportunities don't come when you're just sitting around waiting for them - you gotta get moving, and (c) I'm not young anymore and need to make some good career decisions soon (okay, that last one was the un-solicited comment of the oh-so-brilliant Boss at my new firm --> not exactly inspiring advice).

It's not like I can just pack up and leave town, so I will be getting my own place here for a while until I get myself sorted out and can formulate a real plan. And then hopefully I'll start the baby steps towards some bigger changes. At the very minimum, this blog will get some tweaking. A new banner and new title (since I'm not in school and not having so many adventures these days), along with more frequent updates. Watch for it, people. It's gonna be big.
  | ¶ 12:57 a.m.

  and I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life You walk and a breeze hits you, like the wind you'd feel on any open plain - maybe Alberta, maybe the countryside of smalltown Quebec. But this is inner city Calgary. Although it is initially a rush of cooling air in the summer heat, you sense it is less of a breeze than an envelopment of your pocket of existence by the thick city soul.

There is a muffled roar-bang-crash in the distance. Cars rumble by on these narrow urban streets. Some of them are taxis you could flag down, but you lack the ambition to wave so keep on walking.

This city breathes down on you, pulsing with life and heat and energy. Line-ups at pubs and restaurants, dressed to impress, we're all out. And the train rushes by in a blur of light and rumbling, daring you to ignore it.

A manhole cover protrudes on the boulevard from the bright green grass, a reminder of the less-flashy aspects of urban life.

The energy of the upcoming Stampede already permeates the town. The fireworks tonight seem like a warm-up for that celebration. They glare at you over the rooftop of the house as you exit the taxi.  | ¶ 8:00 p.m.