won't you guide my sleigh tonight My nieces do some entertaining.

  | ¶ 6:43 p.m.

  diggin my style, my swag, my sway, my swerve Well, the holidays are coming to an end and I'm headed "home" soon. I changed my itinerary to get on a direct flight to Ottawa tomorrow morning. As I've been saying to people, usually I don't mind the time spent in airports when making connections through, say, Toronto, but since I've already done a fair amount of travelling this month (for me, anyway), I've had my fill of airports. This direct flight is a bit of a luxury.

So we're having one more family dinner (pizza night at Keri's) and I'm off bright and early in the morning. Mom and Dalt can't make the dinner since they're out celebrating their anniversary, and Gina's at work, but I'll get to see them all later tonight anyway. Last night we had a mini sendoff for Persuade at my old neighbourhood pub, the Kilkenny, since she's off to her Caribbean homeland for a couple weeks. It's been nice having her around for the holidays.

I'm looking forward to getting back to my place and my stuff and my cat. And oh yeah, we're having a New Year's party Sunday. Should be good times.  | ¶ 5:19 p.m.

  hold on tight, wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright [Edit: also see froo's pics here.]

I haven't felt much like writing these past few days, but I've had a nice Calgary visit with family and friends, so if you want to just browse my photos for now, I've put up sets here, here, and here. That last set is from our bowling night, so you may have already seen it. And here's a fun kid video for your amusement.
  | ¶ 3:43 p.m.

  I just have no use for Christmas without you I am resigned to being fatigued and foggy-brained at this point. But it's a good kind of fog, the one where you're surrounded by family and ease.

Why haven't I slept, you might ask. As a student these are my days to sleep in and not fret about a thing. But a funny thing happened that first morning when I woke up partially rested and realized where I was. I knew that if I stepped into some shoes and tiptoed my way across the balance-beam landscaped retaining wall, I would find a scene that soothes me. That is a sister-in-law groggily watching television with a child or two or three, my nieces and nephew.

So I do it everyday, just as I did when I lived in the family compound two summers ago - I brace myself for the elements, whatever they may be, and sneak off in my pyjamas to visit my familial neighbours.

We're all here this year, the Ryan children (children who are adults, mind you, can't you tell from this photo). Five of us, and each of us with a friend or significant other to invite to holiday get-togethers, not to mention three young ones. So the gatherings have been large and social and fun. Yet it is truly the little unplanned moments that actually make for the best memories. We've had beers together, bowled together, prepared meals together, played poker together, run errands together, washed dishes together, vegged together. And we laugh together.

And tonight we had to have a serious talk about whether Mom's big round table would seat all of us who are expected for turkey dinner on Boxing Day. The younger children will have their own table, but we figure that we can squeeze all thirteen adults at the main table.

I'll steal what Keri said earlier. I just feel lucky to have so much family around, 'cause a lot of people don't.

UPDATE: Pics from our bowling night are here.  | ¶ 11:56 p.m.

  video update This was recorded yesterday. Those are two of my brothers and my niece Ella while we were out doing Christmas errands.

  | ¶ 7:37 p.m.

  have I still got you to be my open door Prime Minister sighting today: Keri and Gina were at a movie theatre in Calgary this afternoon buying tickets to Charlotte's Web for their kids and Mr. Harper was beside them in line. He was attending the movie with his children. Stevie decided to follow my lead and come back from Ottawa for the holidays. ;)  | ¶ 6:58 p.m.

  I'll be happy that it's Christmas once again ... that is once I get some sleep! Arrived in Calgary, and I'm still awake after way too little sleep lately. Updates later.  | ¶ 3:56 a.m.

  baby you can sleep while I drive Earlier tonight I got an email from Air Canada wondering whether I wanted to check in for my flights. When a person still has two exams looming in front of them, that almost seems preposterous. Like, dude, I'm not going anywhere 'til I get these done, you know..?

But I did it after tonight's exam. I wanted to make sure I get my window seats. My boarding passes indicate that I do. Phew.

The exam went reasonably well. Three essay questions, one compulsory, and the other two you could choose from two selections. Of course it was the mandatory one I had the most trouble with. It's not that I don't understand the concept of federalism and how it shapes Canada, but the question just seemed so broad I had a hard time finding a starting point or many points at all. He said, "Federalism is an important principle in Canadian politics. Discuss how it impacts the structures and practices of Canadian institutions." Argh. Anyway, I think I answered the other two better.

And now I'm up reading and doing laundry. In less than seven hours I have to be back on campus for the next exam, a multiple-choice one. So no information regurgitation necessary, but his previous multiple-choice tests have been reasonably tricky, so I don't think it's going to be overly easy. Ah well, there's only so much I can do in the middle of the night, eh.  | ¶ 1:59 a.m.

  if we're gonna do it come on do it right I've been a little confused the last two days when I've woken up to sunny blue skies. That hasn't happened so much in Ottawa since I got here, so two days in a row sort of threw me off. It's kinda nice!

I'm in the final hours of preparing for my Canadian Political Institutions exam tonight. Reviewing the powers of the prime minister, the Charter, Federalism, etc. I admit it's a little dry for me 'cause it's covering topics that I've studied before and I'm having a hard time mustering much enthusiasm for it this time around. It's going to be essay questions, so as long as I'm feeling wordy I should be fine.

Does it feel like Christmas? Maybe it'll hit me when I land in Calgary tomorrow night. Tomorrow's going to be a bit of a mad scramble for me. I'm just unpacked from the Moncton trip and I have to get myself all laundered and organized for another trip, after a night of probably not much sleep and a morning exam tomorrow. Packing is not my favourite thing.

It felt like Christmas at Dad's place. Here he is reviewing the CDs before the party started.
  | ¶ 12:44 p.m.

  I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me I'm safe and sound back in Ottawa. My Moncton adventure turned out a little differently than I expected, but in a good way, in that I was busy hanging out with cool people and truly having a vacation from my "real" life. And maybe not doing as much studying as I should have. It's good that I even went jogging that one day!

The staff party that my step-mother hosted at the house on Saturday was a roaring success. Turns out there's a lot of cool young folks on her staff at her school, so there was a good vibe at the party (no offense to the older folks). A couple of my high school teachers are still working at the school so it was quite a trip to run into them, too.

Craig and I went down to the Gate again after the party. That was our, ahem, fourth visit to the bar in three days. We're still hardcore, it turns out. Sunday was relaxing day getting packed, watching Dad make bread, and the mandatory visit to Deluxe for fish and chips. After another extended journey back on Air Canada, it was good to get "home" to Ottawa and sleep in my own bed and snuggle with my cat. Salsa missed me, you know.

I've got some serious studying to do. Exams Wednesday evening and Thursday morning.  | ¶ 4:48 p.m.

  I'm festive
There's a party here tonight. I'm the Christmas jester.  | ¶ 6:35 p.m.

  he goes left and you stay right That was our crazy waitress at the St. James' Gate last night. She told us that one of her tables started buying her tequila shots and she was pretty loaded by the time we encountered her. Occupational hazard, I suppose.

I met up with my buddy Craig for a night on the town in good old Moncton and we checked out Moncton's newest hot spot, "Rouge Resto Club". I would describe it as an "ultra-lounge" - a lot like the sleek trendy clubs you see in most cities. After a while we headed over to St. James for a less fancy environment. There was cool live music and a bigger crowd. Oh, and Jagermeister on tap. They keep a chilled supply at the bar for easy shot-dispensing. I meant to get a picture but forgot. Other shots are here.

Tonight I joined the family to watch my sister's basketball game. Poor Kate broke her baby finger the other day, though, so she wasn't actually playing. So we went to watch my dad coach, basically. And to watch the team get their butts kicked by Kennebecasis Valley. They breed good ball players out there in KV, 'cause they were a very strong team back in the day when froo and I played, too.

I've done a bit of studying, in case you're wondering. I'll be getting more serious about that pretty quick.  | ¶ 6:38 p.m.

  she's like an angel and she burns my eyes Since I started the week doing the preparation needed to write exams and not getting very much sleep, and then yesterday hanging out in the very inadequate Montreal airport (story for another day), I also didn't manage to get any jogging done. It's been a while since I've run in Moncton, so this morning I plotted out a route on Gmaps pedometer and headed out around the neighbourhood for a 3.6 kilometre run. It was a bit wetter and slippery-er than I expected, but it was good to get out. Also, since it's pretty residential around here and I had to take lots of turns to find my way home, I resorted to the tactic you see over there to ensure I knew which streets to look for.

And now, as is the case after many of my jogs, I am tired. We're having a pre-Christmas turkey dinner tonight that I'm really looking forward to (can smell the turkey already - yum), so I may just have a quick nap to get rested up for it.  | ¶ 2:46 p.m.

  my heart knows me better than I know myself Amusing myself in Moncton:
  | ¶ 8:39 a.m.

  'cause nothing is lost, it's just frozen in frost I'm safe in Moncton. It was nice flying in this afternoon 'cause we flew in north of the city, heading toward the ocean, so by the time we circled back to head inland, I got a nice ocean view. That's the update.  | ¶ 9:28 p.m.

  Christmas in Ottawa Pretty!
  | ¶ 12:47 a.m.

  if I could escape and re-create a place as my own world If it seems like this is turning into a cat blog, well maybe it is. My brain is too wiped to come up with anything deeper than feline photos. Salsa hopped in my suitcase as soon as I got it out of the closet today. I think she was reminiscing about her last trip.

I'm off to Moncton in the morning. You'd think this would be a pretty quick trip from Ottawa, but because I was budget shopping when I booked the flight, the cheapest one was one that has me spending half my day in Montreal. So if you need me I'll be in the airport there, okay? I arrive in Moncton around dinner time. Ah well, I'm bringing study material for my other exams, so that should keep me occupied while I wait. I don't mind spending time in airports usually, so I'm not annoyed with the plan. It will be nice to have a change of scenery.

After two nights of reduced sleep time, I'm pretty much in a fog today. I had planned to nap and then maybe have some beers, but I didn't end up sleeping for long and really just want to lie low and get to bed early. Am I getting old or what!  | ¶ 9:41 p.m.

  fame, if you win it, comes and goes in a minute I'm tired. Last night, in an effort to bolster my studying I had coffee late. Too late. I managed to sleep, but it was filled with too many dreams and constant waking up, mostly resulting in the feeling of not really having slept. But my exam this afternoon went pretty well - I managed to write reasonably thoroughly about such things as the "better terms" (for Nova Scotia after Confederation), the Orange Order, the Department of the Interior, and an essay about how much the vision of Confederation had already changed by the time John A. died in 1891.

I napped briefly this evening. This IPE exam is going to kill me, though. I'm still tired, having trouble focussing, and still have much to cover. That's the update.  | ¶ 12:28 a.m.

  and I wanna make it worth the fight, what have we been doing for all this time
Here's what I looked like for most of the weekend - settled in front of the TV taking extensive notes on Canadian history, with Salsa sometimes curled up in my lap. I think I've done some good review for this course, so hopefully the exam goes well tomorrow afternoon.

What I haven't done enough of, though, is IPE review. That exam is Tuesday morning and I'll be scrambling lots tomorrow to prepare some essays for the already-provided questions. She gave us six questions, three of which we'll have to answer at the exam. The tricky part is that we won't be given all six to choose from (there will be five). So we have to be a bit strategic in our preparation. Go ahead and ask me about the benefits of export development versus import substitution. I covered all that when I did my term paper. Now I just gotta prepare the rest... Arg.  | ¶ 12:34 a.m.

  I'd give you everything that I am, I'm handing over everything that I've got [Song recommendation: "4 in the morning" on Gwen Stefani's new album]

So I've been doing the marathon lecture-watching of my political history class I'd mentioned. I have to say it again: it's really very interesting, history. Since this is a full-year class, we only make it up to the first world war this term, and the bulk of the semester is actually spent on the tumultuous years prior to and after Confederation.

I'm impressed with John A. Macdonald's ability to get British Columbia into Confederation so early (1871). As Dr. McDowall points out, at that time there wasn't even a railway going out West, only the early formation of a province called Manitoba, so British Columbia was far, FAR away. They had to send out exploratory expeditions to get a feel for the land and just how much of a challenge crossing the Rocky Mountains was actually going to be. Keep in mind that John A. ended up committing to the building of a railroad to BC within TEN years of them joining Confederation. This was around the same time that Sandford Fleming, the engineer he recruited to assess the terrain, was expressing serious pessimism about the feasibility of getting a railroad built. It was mighty ambitious (or foolhardy) of John A. to make such a promise.

Yesterday I picked up two of my graded term papers. I got B- in Public Affairs Analysis and B+ on my political history one. I'm pleased with those marks. If you are interested in reading my history paper, which was about the struggle for power between the provinces (mainly Ontario) and Ottawa just after Confederation, I have posted it here (look at me, all fancy using "Google documents" - nifty service). It's not as boring as it might sound, fyi - try it out. I probably shouldn't leave that paper up too long since I don't really want anyone using my work as their own in the future. So grab it now, this offer won't last long...!  | ¶ 12:58 p.m.

  I know he thinks you're fine and stuff, but does he know how to wind you up I'm pretty amused right now. Given that my academic performance could be... well, better, something surprising has happened. A little while ago there was a reminder email sent out to Carleton students about the deadline for applying for scholarships and bursaries for second term. So on a lark I filled out the application. Somebody told me once that there's a ton of bursary money floating around and it's always worthwhile to apply, so what the hell eh.

In the mail today I received notice that I'm getting an 800 dollar bursary. WAHOO! Totally makes me laugh, and actually gives some relief 'cause I was really going to have to stretch my loan and bursary money from the government in the next few months.

Thank you, Nathan Braham!

(I still rock the house)  | ¶ 9:34 p.m.

  I be up in the gym just working on my fitness GRR. I hate being sick. This damn cold has been torturing me for the last few days and making it hard to get my work done. But don't worry, I'm making progress.

One of my classes is a TV class - Carleon does this thing where they film some courses and show them on digital cable, so I tune in once a week to see my professor's two weekly lectures. Well, what ended up happening most nights was that I'd tune in for most of the lecture, but not take notes, and just tape the whole thing for future review. So this week consists of me reviewing lots of taped lectures and taking copious amounts of notes. It's a history class, don't you know, and this guy knows his stuff, so there's a LOT of information to take in.

What I'm remembering is just how much I enjoy well-taught history classes (I loved Dr. Childs at Bishop's). I'd read somewhere that the prof for this class was well-regarded, and indeed he makes the material quite interesting. It's 'Canadian Political History', so I'm learning about the early days of Canada East and West, Upper and Lower Canada, the Union of the Canadas, and finally, Confederation and the early days of the new united colony. Learning about one's history really gives meaningful context to life as we know it. It makes you understand the struggles and conflicts of early Canadians and gives you a real understanding of how we got to where we are now. I might switch my major to history. Heh.

I've backed off my exercising a bit this week since I've been rather ill. I run inside on the treadmill at a slower pace, and tonight I felt like tackling some yoga. I think I'm beating this thing into submission. It's good, 'cause I'm about to ramp up my studying big-time. Two more exams before my first holiday trip. It'll be nice to be with family again.  | ¶ 10:59 p.m.

  and you begin to wonder why you came It turns out I'm going to be a bit of a cross-country traveller this month. After my two exams next week I have a full week off, and God knows I've spent enough time under house arrest already this semester, so I thought a nice escape was in order. I managed to find a reasonably-priced flight to Moncton and will visit with my father and step-mother for a few days next week. This is good since I don't have the time to make it there over my too-short Christmas break. This is also good because one of my good friends from the original Bishop's era is currently "home" so he and I will be able to do some catching up.

So I'll spend a few days in Moncton, come back to study for a couple more days, write two exams, and fly off to the great West just in time for Christmas. Maybe Jame can whip up more of his famous eggnog that I missed at the shindig this past weekend. Giddy-up.  | ¶ 4:08 p.m.

  you got me tripping, stumbling, flipping, fumbling More Mercer goodness.
  | ¶ 8:32 p.m.

  you fall away from your past, but it's following you It occurred to me recently that I haven't been sick in a while. I notice the kids in my classes sniffling and coughing but have managed to avoid succumbing to any of their illnesses thus far. Wouldn't you know it, though, as soon as I become aware of my wellness, I feel something coming on. Voicing it here can only give it more determination, but whatever, I don't really have the luxury of sickness right now. I'll fight this sore throat and hope it doesn't turn into anything truly miserable.

That was part of the reason I decided not to drive to North Hatley this morning. I've been spoiled with having a chauffeur take responsibility for the long 4-hour-ish drive on the two trips before now, and when I realized what I was taking on, suddenly my enthusiasm was diminished somewhat. There's also the guilt at not staying locked up in my cell (bedroom) pretending to tackle the books that sit taunting me. I'm not actually sure how I'm going to get through my first three exams and research project, which must all be completed by the 12th. After that I have a nice week-long break to prepare for the last two, but these three are definitely going to be a challenge. Eep.

Did anyone watch the Liberal leadership convention coverage last night and today? I've actually enjoyed watching it, and spent the bulk of my day listening to Peter Mansbridge and his team cover it on the CBC. Whatever differences we have, Devin and I share a certain passion for politics, so as lame it might sound to some people, spending the day in front of the TV anticipating the results of the various rounds of balloting was a reasonably fun thing to do. I didn't have a favourite candidate going into the race, but the minute I started liking Gerard Kennedy, he dropped out and lent his support to Stéphane Dion, who was the ultimate winner, as you probably know. I hope Stéphane gets some good English lessons, 'cause he needs to get out there and let people know who he is, and speaking the language of most Canadians will probably assist with that.

Rick Mercer made an appearance at Peter's broadcast booth today. He's already got his blog updated with coverage if you want to read.

"The Liberals went into this convention with a host of choices. They could have gone with a battle-tested politician, a former athlete, a world famous academic or a food bank founder from the West; at the end of the day they choose the nerd."

We got a good chuckle when Jean Chrétien stopped by to talk to Lloyd Robertson at the CTV booth. He mentioned getting calls from many of the candidates asking his advice, and he said he told them all the same thing, "an old Greek saying, if dere's no water in da swimming pool, don't dive". Apparently that's supposed to mean "you can't win if you don't run". Good tip, Jean.  | ¶ 11:51 p.m.

  so hang a shining star up on the highest bough I'm supposed to be on the road right now. I had made plans to drive to North Hatley to visit Scott this weekend, but wouldn't you know it, this is the weekend that winter decides to visit central Canada. Freezing rain, ice pellets, blowing snow - enough to scare the girl who's still getting comfortable in her nemesis, the manual transmission vehicle named Red. So I postponed the trip to tomorrow possibly, and hope the situation looks better then.

This is the view from my bedroom window. Icky.

And so, I'll huddle up with my pot of coffee, christmas music and school books and attempt to make some progress on preparing for next week's exam and report that's due. The other day in our final class in Research Methods, the prof told us, "I know some of you haven't started your paper yet, and we'll be able to tell when we read it". Hmm. Maybe, sir, but maybe not.  | ¶ 12:24 p.m.